The season ended on a sour note, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t awards to give out. So with no further ado, The Brooklyn Papers’ triple-threat coverage team of Ed Shakespeare, Gersh Kuntzman and Nick Pauly bestows this year’s coveted Clonie Awards.
The Jekyll and Hyde Award
for Clutch Hitting Despite a Miniscule Batting Average
And the winner is: Jesus Gamero. His batting average finally sneaked above .200 by the end of the season, but Gamero spent most of his month at Keyspan Park grounding out weakly. Yet Gamero was a reverse A-Rod when the chips were down, knocking in 13 runs in just 92 at-bats. Honorable mention goes to catcher Dan Cummins, who batted .355 with runners in scoring position, yet was 19 for 100 overall.
The Mike Jacobs Memorial MVP Award
And the winner is: Dustin Martin. After a slow start as he adjusted to wood bats, this Lake LBJ, Texas, native started tearing the cover off the ball. By year’s end, Martin, the Mets’ 26th-round pick this year, led the team in RBIs (35), batting average (.315), hits (79), slugging (.454) and even hit-by-pitches (9). He was even tied for the team lead in stolen bases (7). Martin, whose teammates call him “Sunshine,” has all of the celebrated five tools: hitting for average, hitting for power, fielding, running and throwing. And best of all, he looks like a California surfer.
The Robert Merrill Award
for Best Song Played When the Player Comes up to Bat
And the winner is: Dustin Martin. Even though he’s only 22, Martin clearly has respect for the classics. Whenever he strode to the plate at Keyspan Park, the sound engineer would cue up the Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” — exactly at the part where Roger Daltry screams, “E-yeaaaahhhhhhh!” Honorable mention goes to Jonathan Schemmel, a Kansan who chose “Thank God I’m a Country Boy,” even though he’s from hardly rural Topeka.
The Carl Sagan Alternative Universe Award
And the winner is: Mark Lazarus. We thought we’d never see the day when the self-appointed “Mayor of Section 14” — a one-man razzing squad — ever got to do anything official with the Cyclones. But the front office relented and let Lazarus finally throw out the first pitch late in the season — more than two years after he won the privilege in an auction. True to form, Lazarus went back to the blue language upon his return to the stands, cursing out a Lowell Spinner base runner.
The Don Rumsfeld Award
for Poor Advance Planning
And the winner is: The Cyclone Front Office. At the start of the season, the team informed its longtime PA announcer, the courtly Dom Alagia, that his services were no longer welcome. Then the team hired a recent college grad with no experience, who promptly was sent on an extended “vacation.” Only by the middle of the campaign did Keyspan Park finds a solid, dependable voice. It all could’ve been avoided if Alagia had been given a final season to train his replacement.
The Mike Dukakis Award
for Most-Unfortunate Photo-Op
And the winner is: Tim Haines. The Cyclones asked pitcher Haines to pose with fellow fastballer Mike Sharpe as they downed Chef One dumplings, a new Keyspan treat. But Haines should have stuck to the potstickers: He later tested positive for a performance-enhancing drug and was booted off the team for 50 games.
The Ebbets Field Award
for Best Heckler
And the winner is: Anonymous. We’ll never know his name, but one guy knew exactly what to yell during the post-game wedding ceremony of Dave Kerpen and Carrie Fisher on the Keyspan diamond. When the rabbi started droning on a bit, one man yelled out, “Play ball, rabbi!”
The Scott Kazmir Memorial Award
for Untouchable Cyclone Prospect
And the winner is: Dustin Martin.
The Thomas Edison Award
for Dependable Electricity
And the winner is: Emmanuel Garcia. A late-season call-up from Kingsport, Garcia, a shortstop, ran wild on the bases, taking extra bags on grounders and stealing three bases in just 13 games, including stealing home in his first game when the opposition was distracted. He also had seven bunt hits. His energy and aggressiveness sparked the Cyclones in the season’s last two weeks.
Brooklyn ‘mayors’ bite tongues
Two of Brooklyn’s most-renowned leaders — Borough President Markowitz and the “Mayor of Section 14,” Mark Lazarus — were convinced that the Cyclones would beat their hated cross-Narrows rivals, the Staten Island Yankees, in the first round of the New York-Penn League playoffs last week.
Staten Island had already angered Markowitz by winning the coveted Borough Presidents’ Trophy by taking the season series 9-5.
“But when the playoffs start,” he told The Brooklyn Papers, “we’ll wipe the floor with them. I don’t know why the Staten Island Yankees will even show up.”
The next night, the larger-than-life beep was on the big video screen at Keyspan Park, teasing the Staten Islanders as “Brooklyn wannabes.”
“This is a time to be proud,” Markowitz told the less-than-capacity crowd. “We’ve got the Brooklyn attitude.”
Markowitz’s cheerleading was lost on his beloved team, which dropped both playoff games to the Baby Bombers.
Lazarus, the ever-vociferous fan, saw the positive in the Cyclones’ playoff loss.
“We lost the first game of the season to Staten Island, 18-0,” he said. “And we lost the last game of the playoffs 9-0.
“That,” he said with a straight face, “shows a lot of improvement.”
Yankees farm pays dividends
The New York Yankees are known for just going out and buying the ballplayers they need — but the Bronx Bombers are much better at home-growing their talent.
Now that the big-league clubs have expanded their rosters, the Yankees have 11 former Staten Island Yanks in the fancy pinstripes: right-handed pitcher Chien-Ming Wang, second-baseman Robinson Cano, shortstop Andy Cannizaro, first-baseman Andy Phillips, left-fielder Melky Cabrera, righties Colter Bean, TJ Beam, Jeff Karstens and Jason Anderson, and lefties Matt Smith and Sean Henn.
The New York Mets have one former Brooklyn Cyclone on the big-league squad: right-handed pitcher Brian Bannister.
Brooklyn fans like to follow the Cyclones alumni.
It would be nice if the Mets kept some.
September 16, 2006 issue
