I know my kids, like all kids, have great potential. What wakes me up with a start in the middle of the night is wondering what exactly they should pursue and how exactly they should pursue it in order to tap that potential and to excel at something that makes them feel great.
I’ve never felt competitive in the traditional way. I always felt bad for the losing team. I still tend to cheer when a kid hits a ball or catches a ball well, whether they’re on my sons’ teams or the opposing teams. I think doing well feels better than not doing well, so I wish that for my children and for all other children as well.
The thing is, because I am not a win-at-all-costs mom in a city that can sometimes feel a little winner-takes-all, I often feel like a bad mom. I haven’t taken my kids to the batting cages or even to the park to practice beyond their standard weekly baseball practices in all the many years they’ve played.
They’ve likewise taken music for years, focusing mainly on learning to create some of their own songs and learning how to play popular songs of their own choosing on the piano and on the computer. I sometimes get nervous and will suggest to Stephen — their awesome music teacher — that he should give them more homework or plan a recital, and he is on board. But old habits die hard, and they just end up enjoying the jam, and I don’t say a word.
The thing is, my kids love baseball, and they love music. They are sometimes on winning teams, but we have done nothing to ensure that. We mostly just hope they like their team and are good sports. They will sometimes sit down or stand at the piano between lessons, but that actually matters less to me than that they are truly appreciative of all musical genres, and can enjoy and understand music and what goes into it.
The thing is, you never know. They have dabbled in karate, pottery, track, and tennis. They ski and bike and swim and wrestle (quite fiercely if the aftermath in my room is any indication.) They read, love movies — both watching and making — and, of course, spend a fair bit of time with video games and going online to watch iFunny or find other things that interest them.
What will be their thing? Will they have one? Do they need one?
Both my kids are great singers at home, but come time to show off in front of a crowd, they seem usually to hide somewhere near the back. It has always struck me as a shame, but I haven’t pushed it. Now, though, for his fifth grade talent show, Oscar, the younger, has banded together with a group of boys to do an a cappella version of Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time.” Already, just from the audition, he has received lots of compliments on his voice. I am proud of him for pushing himself, for standing in the limelight. Maybe it will be a one-off, or maybe, just maybe, it will be a life-long love.
It’s hard to know, but it’s always important just to try.
