68th Precinct
Bay Ridge—Dyker Heights
Cruiser bruiser
A cretin clocked the clerk who tried to stop him from stealing a bicycle from a shop on 86th Street on June 25.
The goon rolled in to the establishment near Fifth Avenue in Bay Ridge at 6:45 pm and tried to walk out with a bike, but an employee confronted him, so the pedal pincher punched him in the face and fled, police said.
Road rage
A brute with anger issues smacked a guy in the face with a screwdriver during an argument in traffic on the corner of Fourth Avenue and Senator Street in Bay Ridge on June 25.
The two got into it at 6 pm, and one guy got so mad he got out of his car with a screwdriver and attacked his opponent, police said.
Hot air conditioners
A steamy scoundrel stole three air conditioners from an 82nd Street home on June 24.
The victim left his climate-controlled digs near 13th Avenue in Dyker Heights at 9 am, but when he returned at noon, it was a sauna, police said.
The thief busted the door handle while breaking in — and he apparently made of with the handle in addition to the appliances, a police report states.
Gone in 60 minutes
Someone stole $10,000 from a house on 97th Street on June 26 while the resident stepped out for an hour.
The owner of the home near Ridge Boulevard left at noon and came back at 1 pm, but in the meantime, someone busted open the front door and took the cash, police said.
Dyker Heist
A chump stole change and credit cards from a car parked on 12th on June 25.
The vehicle’s owner left his ride near Ovington Avenues in Dyker Heights at 8 pm, but when he came back at 10 am the next day, his stuff was gone police said. There were no signs of forced entry, according to a police report.
Cheap shot
Four people were stabbed — one in the groin — when a massive bar fight broke out at a Fifth Avenue dive on June 28.
What began as an argument in the watering hole between 84th and 85th streets escalated into an all-out melee at 12:35 am that sent four men to Lutheran Medical Center — including one with stab wounds to his manhood, police said.
Cops have not made any arrests and the investigation is ongoing, police said.
— Max Jaeger