Chopper down!

Motorcycle madness

A rookie motorcycle rider tried to make off with a 36-year-old’s laptop on Oct. 10, but instead he just made an ass of himself.

The would-be thief rode his hog on the sidewalk in an attempt to grab the computer from the victim, who was sitting on North Eighth Street between Wythe Avenue and Berry Street at around 8:45 pm.

But when the clumsy crook grabbed the computer, he lost his balance and crashed his bike — allowing the victim to retrieve the device.


Cops nabbed a handful of hoodlums that jumped a 53-year-old man as he walked home from church through McGolrick Park on Oct. 12.

The crooks struck at the corner of Nassau Avenue and North Henry Street at around 11:15 pm, punching the victim in the face and kicking him in the torso before grabbing his house keys.

Cops canvassed the neighborhood and locked up two men suspected in the attack.

Brass and booze

A gang of goons pummeled and stabbed an intoxicated man at the corner of Manhattan Avenue and Dupont Street on Oct. 5, hospitalizing him for four days.

The thugs confronted the 47-year-old victim at around 1 am and one said, “Give me your money.” At that point, another crook slugged him with metal knuckles, knocking him to the sidewalk.

Once the victim was on the ground, the group kicked him and stabbed him once in the flank.

After the attack, the victim stumbled home. When he visited his doctor the next day, he was transported to Bellevue Hospital for treatment, cops said.

Be like Mike

Cops broke up a bloody Greenpoint Avenue fistfight on Oct. 10, but not before one of the pugilists sunk his teeth in a boxing move made famous by Mike Tyson.

Police arrested a 34-year-old suspected of chomping off the tip of his rival’s index finger during the melee, which occurred near the corner of West Street at around 10:25 pm.

Misteak knife

Police locked up a knife-wielding thug who stole a 27-year-old man’s iPhone as he dined at a Manhattan Avenue restaurant on Oct. 14.

The crook approached the victim as he noshed at an eatery near the corner of Norman Avenue at around 8:30 pm.

“Give me your s—,” the thief demanded, revealing a blade.

The victim handed over his phone and the crook tried to flee — but cops nabbed the suspect before he got far.

Bottle service

Three brutal bad guys smashed a bottle of beer over a 30-year-old man’s head on Oct. 16.

The hoodlums assaulted the victim at the corner of North Fourth and Berry streets at around 2:15 am, leaving him dazed while they escaped by car.

Caught in the act!

Cops nabbed a burglar as he tried to pick his way into a North Ninth Street metal and plumbing company on Oct. 18.

When police arrived just after midnight, they spotted the gloved 40-year-old suspect — armed with a flashlight, burglar tools and a pocketknife — using a screwdriver to force open a padlock to get into the business, which is between Wythe and Kent avenues.

Chain gang

A group of crooks grabbed four pendants and two gold chains from a 75-year-old woman’s neck on Oct. 15.

The hoodlums snatched the jewelry as the victim walked on Jackson Street between Manhattan and Leonard streets at around 3:50 pm. The feisty victim gave chase for three blocks, but lost sight of the thieves at the corner of Lorimer Street and Skillman Avenue.

Purse pusher

A mean mugger shoved a 22-year-old woman to the ground and grabbed her handbag on Oct. 18.

The thief knocked the victim down at around 1:20 am at the corner of Monitor Street and Nassau Avenue, and ordered her to keep quiet as he made off with the bag — which contained $400.

— Ben Muessig