I had hired the handyman to come in and patch a big hole in our ceiling. He wasn’t too pleased when, in exchange, he received a hole of his very own on the roof of his van, caused by parking next to the notoriously leaning tree on my block.
In Park Slope good handymen are like gods and sightings of them are just about as rare. You definitely don’t want to piss them off.
This tree, reminiscent of the violent tree in the Harry Potter series known as the Whomping Willow, likes to do this to vehicles. I should know, since it tried to rip the roof rack right off the top of mine, leaving a now rusty dent to remind me of its wrath.
The problem is this: the tree leans over the street at about a 60-degree angle. It is possible to park next to it, but only if you keep your car a couple of feet away from the curb. The trouble begins when you try to get out. If you get parked in too tightly by other cars, then the maneuvering required to leave the space invariably sends the top of your car dangerously close to the hovering tree’s trunk.
The “owner” of the tree, one of my neighbors, has tried to get the city to deal with this problem for years. You’ll notice I put the word owner in quotes. That’s because the homeowner/tree relationship is a complex one. We don’t really own them — even if we are the ones who originally planted them. The city does.
In fact, the city owns any and all trees that are within 15 feet of the curb edge — including those that might be planted right in your front yard. And therefore we are in no position to make decisions about them. That’s lucky for the Whomping Willow, because between you and me, I have actually overheard plots to poison the evil thing — or tie it to someone’s truck and pull it down in the night or …Â well, you get the idea.
According to the Parks Department, the correct way to deal with problematic trees is to call 311. Operators are standing by who will transfer you to the Forestry Division of the Parks Department, which will take your complaint and give you a case number. After that an inspector will come to take a look at the tree within seven days.
“Saving the tree is paramount,” said Phil Abramson, a spokesman for Parks. “Sometimes a tree leans and it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with it. We only remove trees if they are dead or dying or pose a public safety hazard.”
Alas, the evil tree on my block did not meet those qualifications. That type of tree, a London Plane (the most-common type of city tree), sometimes leans a lot — and sometimes it falls, as one spondid a couple of houses away from the Whomping Willow less than two years ago.
It was just after 3 pm and we were all amazed that none of the children being dismissed from PS 289 got picked off by it as they went by. It fell right on top of a red sedan and completely totaled it (see picture), and almost smashed an SUV on the opposite side of the street.
Good thing those London Planes are so sturdy.
Wendy Ponte is a writer who lives in Park Slope.
The Kitchen Sink
The Park Slope Civic Council is not only backing a “Buy in Brooklyn” campaign, but it’s putting 400 umbrellas in local stores so you can grab one if it’s raining. The whole thing is on the honor system, people, so don’t screw it up! The launch is on Nov. 13 at the Community Bookstore (143 Seventh Ave., between Carroll Street and Garfield Place) at 8 pm. Here’s hoping it rains so we can test out the system! …
If you saw groups of tipsy parents walking from house to house on Saturday night, it wasn’t your imagination — it was PS 107’s first “progressive diner.” The event, which featured donated wine from competing Seventh Avenue liquor stores, Slope Cellars and Big Nose, Full Body, had parents starting their evening with cocktails at one person’s house, moving on to dinner at another’s, and finishing with dessert at still another’s. The standout were those roasted artichoke hearts from Russo’s! …
Congrats to our pals at St. Saviour’s HS, which just found out that two students were named Advanced Placement scholars with distinction, thanks to passing five AP courses. One, Princess Francois, is now at Columbia University, but the other, Eugene Suh, is a senior at the Eighth Avenue private high school. With five AP credits, she’s practically a sophomore already! …
As the weather chills, don’t forget your furry feline friends! Slope Street Cats isn’t. The organization, which neuters and cares for feral cats, is holding a $25-a-head fundraiser on Nov. 17 at Ripple Bar. Finger food, raffle tickets and guilt-reduction included. Ripple Bar (769 Washington Ave., between St. Johns and Sterling places), 7 pm. For information, visit www.slopestreetcats.com.
