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Drunk driving — to crime!

Bad fare

A tipsy taxi rider tried to hurl a cabbie out of his ride — while it was still moving on March 28.

The villain was drunk when she entered the cab at around 3:30 am, promptly declared, “I can drive myself home,” climbed from the backseat of the cab and attempted to shove the driver out of the car, police reports indicated.

The cabbie pulled over on North Third Street between Wythe Avenue and Berry Street and exited his car with his keys in hand in order “to prevent further abuse from the perp,” according to cops.

Police arrived and arrested a 44-year-old suspect.

Suckerkicked!

Two vicious muggers brutally kicked an India Street man as he tried to enter his home on April 1.

The perps threw the victim to the sidewalk as he attempted to open his front door after enjoying drinks with friends at around 9:20 pm.

Once on the ground, one of the crooks held the victim’s arms behind his back while the other perp kicked him in the face and the body.

The thieves grabbed the victim’s wallet — which contained $150 — and fled from the scene, which was between Franklin Street and Greenpoint Avenue. The attack left the victim bruised, “bleeding heavily,” and unable to see from his right eye, according to police reports.

Road warriors

Muggers used cars as getaway vehicles at least three times last week. Here are the horrifying details:

• An armed thug jumped out of a white Ford Focus at the corner of North Eighth and Berry streets at around 11:15 pm on April 1 and pulled a handgun on a 26-year-old.

“Hurry up, I need your wallet and cellphone,” the crook ordered.

The victim complied and the mugger drove off in the hatchback.

• Just 10 minutes later, a robber in a white vehicle stuck up a 29-year-old for his bag.

The crook hopped out of his car at the corner of Skillman Avenue and Lorimer Street and yanked the victim’s Kenneth Cole from his shoulder.

When the victim tried to recover his bag — which contained credit cards — the thief threatened, “What? You want to get shot?”

• A mugger in a car snatched a 28-year-old woman’s purse on April 5.

The perp made his move at around 4:55 am at the corner of Skillman Avenue and Leonard Street and grabbed the victim’s bag — which contained cash, a cellphone, and a camera.

Purse jackings

Thieves played tug-of-war against two North Brooklyn women for their purses on March 30 — and unfortunately the crooks won both matches.

• A villain yanked a woman’s bag from her arm at the corner of North Seventh Street and Driggs Avenue, getting away with her ATM card, debit card, cash, make-up and keys at around 1:15 am.

• Eight hours later, a ruffian made off with a 42-year-old’s bag at the corner of Freeman Street and Manhattan Avenue.

The crook got her credit cards, debit cards, cellphone, and an ID.

Ransacked!

A brutish burglar burst into two apartments on the same floor of a North Sixth Street building on April 1.

The beastly bad guy smashed the front doors of both apartments between 7:10 am and 4 pm, and made off with an Apple laptop and keyboard from a 32-year-old man’s residence, and an iPod, Apple laptop, television, and jewelry from a 26-year-old woman’s unit.

On the day of the break-ins, neighbors spotted a stranger lurking inside the building, which is between Driggs Avenue and Roebling Street

Cash back?

Crooks jacked at ATM from the stoop of a Meeker Avenue pizzeria on March 29.

The thieves heisted the cash machine — which was bolted to the sidewalk in front of Nina’s Restaurant and Pizzeria at the corner of Kingsland Avenue — between 2:30 and 11:30 am, and escaped with $1,120.

UnCivic

Hoods hot-wired a 2000 Honda Civic from a spot at the corner of Berry and North Ninth streets overnight on April 1.

The thieves heisted the vehicle — which is a popular target for car thieves — between 8 am and 7 am the next morning.

— Ben Muessig