Drunk on cash

Liquor looting

A spirited thief entered Five Star Liquor on Sept. 5, taking cash and a safe that was screwed into the counter.

The thieves broke into the store, which is between Avenue P and Quentin Road, sometime after it closed at 9 pm. The cracker-jack crew smashed through the rear door locks in order to get inside.

Quentin conundrum

A thief kicked his way into a Quentin Road home on Sept. 8, taking $1,710 in jewelry.

Police were told that the thief got past the door sometime after 6:30 am.

Ave. S theft

A burglar was caught trying to break in to an Avenue S home on Sept. 11 — just as the homeowner returned.

A cop was patrolling between Homecrest Avenue and E. 13th Street at 10:45 pm when he saw the thief trying to pull open a side door.

At the same time, the homeowner pulled into the driveway.

Surprised, the thief put his head down and ran as fast as he could, only to be arrested by the eagle-eyed cop a short time later.

Stabber sought

A cruel character stabbed a 44-year-old woman in the neck and leg on Sept. 8 before running off with her cell phone.

Police said the thug, who was later arrested, attacked his victim during an argument inside the woman’s home, which is on Avenue J between E. 31st and E. 32nd streets, at 3:50 am.

9-11 shooting

A gunman shot a 25-year-old in his abdomen in Flatlands on Sept. 11.

The victim told police that he was nearing the corner of Avenue H and E. 54th Street at 3 pm when he began arguing with the stranger, who decided to end the spat with a bullet.

The victim was listed in stable condition following treatment at a local hospital.

Sharp confrontation

Three knife-wielding thugs mugged a 15-year-old near the corner of Marine Parkway and Fillmore Avenue on Sept. 7, taking his cellphone and iPod Touch.

The victim told cops he was nearing the corner at 6 pm when the suspects surrounded him.

Stabbed in the back

Three fiends jumped a 29-year-old on Sept. 8 for no apparent reason, stabbing their victim in the back.

The victim told police he was nearing the corner of Lott Place and E. 40th Street at 12:30 pm when the suspects attacked and stabbed him twice.

Stress reliever

Talk about being stressed out! A thief barrelled into a Ralph Avenue store on Sept. 8 and attacked a clerk just so he could get his hands on some stress-relieving lotion.

Workers at the store, which is between Avenues K and L, said that the suspect entered at about 9:50 pm and threw an employee against a glass wall before running off with the goods.

Cool crime

A thief entered a Ralph Avenue address on Sept. 9 by removing an air conditioner sticking out of the window.

Cops were told that the thief entered the home, which is between Glenwood and Farragut roads, sometime after 8 pm, taking $600, some electronics and a cell phone.

Bag swipe

A sticky-fingered thief made off with a woman’s handbag on Sept. 4 as the woman waited for a bus at the corner of Nostrand Avenue and Avenue U.

She was waiting at the bus stop at 9:25 pm, her bag at her feet, when the thief grabbed it and skedaddled, cops were told.

Seeing red

A thief sporting a white hoodie and blue jeans is being sought for breaking into an Avenue U salon after it closed for the night on Sept. 3.

Workers at Red Hair Beauty Salon, which is between E. 14th and E. 15th streets, said the thief broke the locks to the security gate sometime after the workers closed it at 8 pm. The thief took $800 from the cash register.

Who shot the DJ?

A gunman opened fire on a DJ on Sept. 5 as the music mixer loaded his equipment into his car, which was parked on E. 45th Street, after a gig.

The victim had just finished his gig, which was between Avenues L and M, at around 6 am when the trigger-happy pistoleer approached and hit him once in the chest before running off.

The 31-year-old was rushed to a local hospital, where he was listed in stable condition.

Three on one

A trio of terrors jumped another man on Ralph Avenue on Sept. 2, but fled empty handed.

The victim said the suspects pulled a gun on him and tried to rob him at 5:18 am while he was between Flatlands Avenue and Avenue J.

But the thieves got cold feet and ran off without taking anything from the man.

Mr. Thief’s wild ride

Two car thieves were arrested on Sept. 10 after swiping a car from E. 23rd Street.

The hooligans snagged the hot red 2010 Honda sometime after 3 am as it sat between Avenues W and V, but they didn’t get far.

Cops spotted them near the corner of E. 21st Street and Avenue O, at which point the thieves sped off — sparking a chase that didn’t end until the speedsters slammed their new prize into two parked cars and then tried to escape on foot.

Delivery debacle

A knife-wielding thief jumped a man delivering food to Avenue W on Sept. 5.

The victim said he had entered a building, which is between Batchelder and Bragg streets, and was about to get into the elevator at 1:35 pm when the suspect flashed his knife and put him in a headlock.

“Give me food and money,” the thief said as he made off with $70 and his order.

Radio Shack renegades

Two men flipped out in a Coney Island Radio Shack on Sept. 13 after arguing with a female employee who didn’t fall for their charms.

Officials said that the thugs, ages 20 and 19, were in a heated spat with the employee inside the store, which is between W. 5th and W. 6th streets, at 8:15 pm when they threatened to get violent.

“I’m the king of Coney Island!” one of the thugs said. “I’m going to bring some girls here and we are going to shoot up the place and kill you bitches!”

But they never got the chance to make good on their threats. Cops arrested them a short time later, charging them with menacing and harassment.

Gnash and grab

A shoplifter hoping to feast on some pinched produce from an 86th Street supermarket on Sept. 10 ended up sinking her teeth into an employee’s arm, police said.

The 21-year-old was arrested at 5:50 pm after she bit the employee as he tried to stop her from leaving the grocery, which is between 19th and 20th avenues.

Leaky faucets

A 24-year-old thug broke another man’s nose with a wrench on Sept. 13.

The thug attacked during an argument with the victim on Bay Ridge Avenue between New Utrecht and 16th avenues at 8 pm, police said.

NYPD loot

A brazen thief broke into an unmarked NYPD police car as it sat on Van Sicklen Street in Gravesend on Sept. 8.

The cop left his cruiser parked between Kings Highway and Avenue S at 11 pm. When he returned a short time later, someone had already removed the car’s navigation system, some important papers and — adding insult to injury — the floor mats.

Bedroom break-in

A thief slipped into an Ocean Avenue apartment on Sept. 7, taking two Coach handbags and an assortment of jewelry from the victim’s bedroom.

The victim told police she mistakenly left her rear window unlocked as she left for the day at 9:30 am. When she returned home, she discovered that someone had already been inside, ransacked the bedroom and fled through the rear door.

Bike grab

A thief broke into a shed behind an E. 24th Street home on Sept. 5, fleeing with five bicycles.

Police said that the 17-year-old thief was caught shortly after the 11 pm break-in between Avenues Y and Z. He was reportedly riding one of the stolen bikes when he was nabbed.

Jet Ski-jack

A thief made off with a 2007 Yamaha Jet Ski on Sept. 4 as it bobbed off a Gotham Avenue wharf.

The owner of the water craft said he left it tethered to the Gotham Marina in Gerritsen Beach at 3 pm. By 12:30 pm the next day, it was gone.

Home invasion

Two gun-toting thugs slipped into an E. 13th Street home on Sept. 4, surprising, pistol-whipping and robbing four people they found inside.

Residents of the home between Avenue U and Avenue V said they were asleep at 8 am when the thieves entered through a side window and woke everyone up.

The thugs ordered everyone onto the floor and pistol-whipped three of the victims while ordering the fourth to hand over $700, some jewelry and a pair of pricey Air Jordan sneakers.

Criminal offerings

A menacing thug made off with jewelry after mugging a man at his front door on Sept. 4.

The 23-year-old was at his front door, which is on the corner of Bay Ridge and 21st avenues, when the thug pulled up in a sedan without license plates, stepped out of the vehicle and said the man should give him something valuable if he “didn’t want to get hurt.”

Believing the threats, the victim went into his home, grabbed a pair of earrings, and gave them to the thief, who left without any fuss.

Tree trouble

A thief robbed a 55-year-old man near the corner of Bay 32nd and 86th streets on Sept. 3 after jumping out from behind a tree.

“Keep your head down,” the thief ordered after surprising the victim, putting him in a headlock and running off with his wallet during the 2 am confrontation, police said.