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Dude, you’re stealing a Dell!

Dell no!!!

Dude, crooks in Williamsburg and Greenpoint were getting Dells in at least three break-ins last week. Here are the details:

• A burglar sneaked into an unlocked apartment on Eckford Street between Engert and Driggs avenues and snatched a Dell laptop between 9:15 am and 11:30 am on Nov. 14.

• A hoodlum broke into an apartment on North Seventh Street between Wythe Avenue and Berry Street on Nov. 18 and grabbed a Dell laptop, an Apple laptop, and a Nintendo Wii. The crime occurred between 1:30 pm and 5:30 pm.

• A burglar got into an unlocked unit on Morgan Avenue between Nassau and Driggs avenues between 8:45 am and 6:15 pm on Nov. 20 and grabbed a Dell laptop, Apple laptop, iPod, and cellphone.

Dollar bill

An armed mugger used a burner to intimidate a 17-year-old into handing over his cash on Nov. 20 — but in the end, the thug was the one who got burned.

The gun-toting hoodlum confronted the teenager at the corner of Roebling and North Seventh streets at around 9:30 am and demanded, “Give me your money” before raising his jacket to reveal the black heater.

The victim obliged — but forked over $1, and the crook was forced to flee with the measly loot.

Senior struck!

A vicious villain preyed on a 72-year-old man as he entered the Bedford Avenue station on Nov. 22.

The cruel crook slugged the senior in the face and snatched his wallet from his hands at around 5 pm, as the victim was getting ready to swipe his Metrocard.

After a struggle, the thief grabbed the wallet and fled from the station, which at the corner of Driggs Avenue and North Seventh Street. The robbery netted $100.

Two in the chest

A crook shot a 23-year-old man twice in the chest on Nov. 18.

Cops discovered the victim on his back, bleeding, outside of a Morgan Avenue building at around 8 pm.

The victim was transported from the block between Jackson Street and Skillman Avenue to Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan, where he was treated.

Sprinkler snatch!

Crooks snatched precious copper piping from the sprinkler system of a North Seventh Street warehouse on Nov. 21.

The crooks broke into the building, which is between Havemeyer Street and Meeker Avenue, while an employee was on a break at around 10:30 am. They grabbed the increasingly valuable metal and fled before the employee returned at 11 am.

Golden theft

A crook pried his way into a Diamond Street apartment on Nov. 20 and snatched about $10,000 of jewelry, cops said.

The thief broke in between 8:35 am and 5 pm and ransacked the apartment, tearing through drawers and cabinets before heisting the jewelry and fleeing from the building, which is between Norman and Meserole avenues.

Gym bag booty

A crook snatched two boxes of jewelry from the dresser drawer of a Newton Street apartment on Nov. 19 and stowed them in his gym bag.

A witness spotted a man carrying a black Adidas bag flee from the building, which is at the corner of Graham Avenue, between 11 am and 12:30 pm.

Ducati caper

Crooks snatched a 2008 Ducati motorcycle from its Hausman Street spot overnight on Nov. 21.

The hoodlums snatched the fancy bike from the space, which is between Nassau and Meeker avenues, between 6 pm and 2 pm the next day.