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Duo seeks date — steals phone instead

76th Precinct

Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Flirt jerk

Two louts stole a teen’s cellphone on Smith Street on Oct. 18 after hitting her up for a date, but they didn’t get far (with the girl or the phone).

The 16-year-old victim told cops she was entering the Carroll Street subway station near President street at around 4:50 pm when one of the thugs sidled up to her and queried, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Before the girl could rebuff the advance, the jerk reached into her pocket and stole her phone.

The pair ran off, but Officer Alan Yip caught up with them, arresting a 20-year-old and 21-year-old for grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property.

Cops tied the duo to two other robberies committed in the 84th Precinct.

Drug dopes

A duo broke into the Clinton Apothecary overnight on Oct. 10.

The 30-year-old victim told cops that the wannabe thieves broke into the shop, at Clinton and President streets, between 6:45 pm and 9 am the next day. The victim noticed damage to the basement door lock, but has not yet been able to determine if any merchandise had been stolen.

Drug dopes II

Someone broke into a Van Brunt street pharmacy on Oct. 22 and stole cash.

A witness told cops he saw two men clad in all black breaking into Nate’s Pharmacy near Wolcott Street between 2:40 am and 2:55 am. The 62-year-old victim said the desperate duo stole $350.

LICH clip

Someone stole a woman’s property from Long Island College Hospital’s pediatrics facility on Amity Street on Oct. 19.

The 37-year-old victim said she placed her bag on a table inside the medical center near Henry Street at around 4:54 pm. Minutes later, the bag was gone, along with an assortment of credit and bank cards.

— Gary Buiso

84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Bedroom beat

A brutal thug asked to use the bathroom of an 89-year-old living on Sidney Place and then beat down the old man and stole his stuff on Oct. 18.

The victim told cops that he was outside his home between Joralemon and State streets at around 1:10 pm when the jerk approached and asked to use his bathroom.

The victim obliged, and escorted the man into his apartment. Once inside, the assailant pushed the old man onto his bed and began rifling through his belongings. When the victim stood up and resisted, the thug punched him in the stomach and continued snooping around.

Eventually, the thug found a stash of $3,700 and took off in an awaiting getaway car.

Metrotech menace

A brazen thief swiped a man’s Blackberry right out of his hand as he walked in front of the Metrotech Center on Oct. 20.

The victim said he was on the busy stretch of Myrtle Avenue between Lawrence and Jay streets at around 6 pm when the bandit made his move. The victim then tried to recruit help from bystanders, but the thief took off running.

The victim managed to hear the thug say that he just got out of jail. The victim also noticed that thief had no shoelaces.

Road rage

An irate driver flipped out after his car was rear-ended on Oct. 21, and was hauled off in handcuffs.

The victim said he rear-ended the nutcase’s car at Tillary Street and Flatbush Avenue at around 3:45 pm. That’s when the 25-year-old rageaholic jumped out of his car and began screaming and waving his hands wildly at the victim, who promptly called 911.

Meanwhile, the fuming wheelman demanded that the man move his car. After the victim resisted, the rabid road warrior moved it himself and then smashed the victim’s cellphone. By then, Officer Benito Ocasio had shown up and slapped the cuffs on the kooky driver.

Pew bandit

A thief swiped a woman’s purse after services at the Plymouth Church of the Pilgrims on Oct. 24.

The victim told cops that she’d just finished her weekly worship at around 2 pm at the church on Hicks Street between Cranberry and Orange streets when she went to check on her purse, which she had left in a maintenance room. That’s when she realized that the bag, containing $20 and an assortment of IDs, was missing. She noted that another event was taking place within the church.

Loft lift

A garment bandit stole more than $1,800 in merchandise from the Loft Store on Montague Street on Oct. 22.

An employee noticed that the assortment of shirts and cardigans were missing from the boutique between Henry and Hicks streets at around 9 pm. She was unsure when the thief made his move.

AT & TKO

Shoplifters raided two AT&T stores last week. Here is a breakdown:

• A pair of cell bandits struck at the Fulton Street location on Oct. 19, taking three iPhones and a Blackberry from a display in a brazen 2:30 pm assault.

• Four phone fiends stole an assortment of snazzy devices from the Montague Street location on Oct. 22. An employee told cops that the quartet entered the store between Henry and Clinton streets at around 3:30 pm and stole four Blackberrys, two other smartphones, and an iPhone, worth a total of $3,750. The bozos were caught on camera.

F-reak out

A thief stole a dozing straphanger’s wallet while he rode a Brooklyn-bound F train on Oct. 23.

The victim said he woke up at the Jay Street-Borough Hall station at around 8:10 am and realized that his back pocket had been sliced open and that he was missing five credit cards.

—Stephen Brown