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Fifteen Shades of Grey Snow, Or: How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Snow • Brooklyn Paper

Fifteen Shades of Grey Snow, Or: How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Snow

Spiky: Some of the sharp edges waiting in a snow pile peek out.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

We’ve all fantasized about being free of snow. But how many of us have truly given ourselves to snow’s filthy, piercing caress? We at The Brooklyn Paper can count ourselves among the lucky few. And as the film adaptation of the smut novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” shatters box office records and, possibly, marriages nationwide, we figured we would share some of the secrets to our tortured relationship with the substance so many take for granted as the root of all discomfort.
Before you accuse us of pouring salt on the wound that is this brutal winter, we’ll just say: Don’t knock it until you try it.

Kneel: A city bus submits to the cold.
Community News Group / Max Jaeger

Nathan Tempey is a Deputy Editor at the Community Newspaper Group. Reach him at ntemp‌ey@cn‌gloca‌l.com or by calling (718) 260–4504. Follow him at twitt‌er.com/‌natha‌ntemp‌ey.
S&M: Snow and melted snow.
Community News Group / Max Jaeger

Undercarriage: Look at the bottom of this car in Bath Beach. You can’t look away, can you?
Community News Group / Max Jaeger

Pure as driven: The snow looks clean and innocent when it falls, but it is only temporarily hiding the filth we all carry inside.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Bound: A ribbon sends a signal meant for a select audience.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Gloves off: You dropped something.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Blindfolded: A recent storm blots out Manhattan’s familiar contours.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

A taste of freedom: Blue skies remind office workers of life outside MetroTech.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Not so vanilla: Trash, bulging out of its bags, succumbs to snow’s cold embrace.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Mistreat your vegetables: Someone was not happy with this head of broccoli, and let it know by dumping it in a snow pile. But not before thrashing it around a bit.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Filfthy, filthy, nasty snow: This may be some people’s thing, but the editorial position of this paper is that this snow pile is truly foul.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Spit out: Experimenters beware. A relationship with snow can leave one feeling like a chewed-up piece of gum.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Dirty, disgusting snow: At its heart, snow is putrid and reprehensible.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

Heating up: But when it encounters a truly hot situation, snow, rendered suddenly powerless, melts.
Community News Group / Nathan Tempey

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