Vote 1 beer.
The first presidential debate is on Sept. 26, when Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will spend another two hours droning on about e-mail servers and beautiful walls. The only logical way to get through it is by drowning your sorrows in booze surrounded by your fellow miserable citizens, so here are five watering holes around the borough where you can do just that.
Stadium seating
California-themed pub Pacific Standard has been hosting debate-watching shindigs since 2002, and this round will be no exception. The bar’s big-screen-sporting back room hits capacity at 55 people, so make sure you get there as early as 6 pm to grab a seat. Those who do will be rewarded with $5 cans of India pale ale and pilsner all night.
Pacific Standard [82 Fourth Ave. between Bergen Street and St. Mark’s Place in Park Slope, (718) 858–1951, www.pacif
Donkey voters
Have a Wales of a time with the wonks in political club the Bay Ridge Democrats, who will be watching the debate at Welsh bar the Longbow Pub.
The Longbow Pub [7316 Third Ave. between 73rd and 74th streets in Bay Ridge, (718) 238–7468, www.longb
What a joke
Laugh away the awfulness of this election at Two Saints in Crown Heights, which will punctuate its debate screening with stand-up sets from comedians Alingon Mitra, Crystian Ramirez, Brian Rabadeau, and Shelby Taylor.
Two Saints [753 Nostrand Ave. between St. Johns and Sterling places in Crown Heights, (347) 627-8444, www.twosa
Larger than life
Greenpoint Beer and Ale Company is showing the debate on its yuuuge 13-foot screen, and will offer food and cocktail specials and politics-themed bar games.
Greenpoint Beer and Ale (7 N. 15th St. near Franklin Street in Greenpoint, www.green
Bi-partisan booze
Vegan punk bar Pine Box Rock Shop is serving up election-inspired cocktails at its screening, with names including “donkey punch,” “the elephant in the room,” and “the pantsuit.”
Pine Box Rock Shop [12 Grattan St. between Bogart Street and Morgan Avenue in Williamsburg, (718) 366–6311, www.pineb