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Four thieves and the ultimate crime: Stealing a Lunchables!

94th Precinct

Greenpoint–Northside

Total baloney

Four thieves thought they pulled off the ultimate crime — stealing a box of Oscar Mayer lunchables in a tightly planned operation at the Duane Reade on Kent Street on June 22 — but were later collared.

The thieves broke into the store near Manhattan Avenue at 6:49 am, with three serving as lookouts.

They grabbed the delicious, though highly salty, treat and fled.

Police say they found the perps later that day. It is unclear whether the food had been consumed.

Street shot

A thug fired two shots at a 27-year-old Polish man on Driggs Avenue on June 21, striking him in his leg and grazing his head.

The victim was near Morgan Avenue at 6:40 am, when he heard shots and felt a pain in his leg. He was taken to Elmhurst Hospital and treated.

iPhone grab

A group of fast-moving goons grabbed a woman’s phone and bag on Bayard Street on June 22.

The victim was near Leonard Street at 11:30 pm when four perps, two of whom were on bicycles, surrounded her.

One grabbed her bag off her shoulder, causing her to drop her phone — which another perp grabbed, before they all fled toward Bedford Avenue.

Player played

A thief stole a video game system and games from a Humboldt Street home on June 24.

A witness saw the thief entering the house near Norman Avenue at 11:45 pm, and leave an hour later with the property.

— Aaron Short