Golden goose! Arrow falls out of Target’s neck — bird looks fine!

End Bloomberg’s slaughter of the innocents
Photo by Bess Adler

Target, the wounded goose of Prospect Park, is a pincushion no more!

The badly wounded bird — the victim of a would-be assassin with a crossbow — was discovered on Saturday without the arrow through its neck that had stunned the entire city.

“He came out and ate right out of our hands — the flesh around the wound had begun to heal,” said park-goer Ed Bahlman, who had discovered the aptly named Target and the four-inch arrow protruding from its gizzard last week. “[But] you could still see right through the hole.”

Bahlman and park officials believe that the arrow fell out on its own. During the numerous rescue attempts by the Urban Park Rangers, it became clear that the arrow was becoming looser and had not struck any vital parts, given the goose’s surprising ability to fly and feed.

“My staff thought that [the arrow would fall out] when they got up close to the goose,” said Tupper Thomas, the administrator of Prospect Park.

A park official who did not wish to be quoted said that the arrow had penetrated a fatty portion of the goose’s neck, and that Target should heal just fine.

“It’s flying, eating and drinking — that’s all they want to do,” said the park worker.

He added that it is unlikely that the goose’s health is at risk.

“If [the goose] was infected, the other geese would have sensed it immediately and killed it — they’re nasty like that,” the park worker said.

The culprit behind this fowl play remains at large.

This stunning mystery is only the latest in a long line of bizarre incidents in Brooklyn’s most beloved park. First came the disgusting chicken heads and animal entrails. Then, injured ducks and dead animals began appearing along the lake’s edge.

More recently, John Boy, a beloved swan, died in a spate of alleged swan-on-swan violence. And just last month, Bahlman and his companion Anne-Katrin Titze discovered what appeared to be turtle traps set in the water.

Up to this point, Bahlman and Titze have been highly critical of Parks Department response to the bizarre happenings, but this time, Bahlman heralded the Rangers’ efforts.

“Without them trying to capture Target, I don’t think that arrow would have come loose,” he said.

This is what Target looked like last week — but now, the arrow has fallen out.
Photo by Garey Lewis