I madder than me when my lovely wife Sharon scolds me for eating seconds (and thirds, and fourths, and fifths) at dinner time over the fact that our mayor wants to tell me how big of a soda I can slurp down in one sitting.
Look, you all know that the ol’Screecher has had his share of sugary beverages in his 77 years on this planet, and it didn’t seem to affect me negatively in the least. And I’ll tell you this, I enjoyed every last drop of every one of them.
Sure, I put on some weight over the years, to the point that I need a scooter to get around because my legs would rather not carry my now super-sized frame, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to buy the biggest bucket of 7-Up that the restaurant around the corner knows I’m craving.
And today’s technology lets me live my life as if I was a 16-year-old working the pools at Raven Hall. Look, I don’t need to remind you that my best friend, my trusty scooter Tornado, has no problem carrying me to places like Coney Island, where I can take in Cyclones game with Sharon, my kids, and my beloved grand kids.
Sure, I wasn’t able to throw out the first pitch — as I had been invited to do, being me and all — because to get onto the field, I had to go down a four-inch step, and I haven’t taught Tornado how to negotiate such a steep drop yet.
But that didn’t stop me from having fun with my family at the old ball yard.
Look, the Cyclones was celebrating Bensonhurst’s 350th birthday, so of course they invited me (because, thanks partly to my love of sugary drinks and my weekly column, I’m the biggest thing in the Hurst) and the whole brood down to celebrate and have as much fun at Coney since I went there as a wide-eyed, pop-drinking 7-year-old.
Now’s the point in the column where I tell you about the great time I had at the ball park, and list all the things I ate. But first, I want you to know that an evening of fun at a Cyclones game gets the Screecher’s seal of approval. There is a beautiful breeze coming from the Atlantic, the razzle-dazzle of the cheering crowd, and all the goodies hawked throughout the park were there was enough fast food to fulfill any appetite, including mine. There’s Nathan’s Famous to Gabila’s knishes, cotton candy to fries made the French way, popcorn, ice cream, ices, frozen drinks, beer, hamburgers, chicken tenders, fresh lemonade, custard, Cracker Jacks, loaded fries, peanuts, pretzels, nachos, fried dough, and anything that could have been devoured in all of Coney’s amusement area. We wafted the tantalizing aromas of all this unhealthy fast food, and worried that His Honor the Mayor will put his 670 billion cents into abolishing our pleasure of eating whatever we want!
Well, here’s my two cents on that: you know, Mr. Mayor, most New Yorkers can not afford to have their vehicle pre-cooled by an air conditioner borrowed from City Hall and some families have to buy the largest size drink to quench all of their kids thirsts to cool off. Not everybody is as fortunate as you. So lighten up and live and let live!
Now, back to the ball game. This was the first time Sharon had been to a Cyclones game because like me, she is not an baseball devotee. But she still had the time of her life, and why shouldn’t she? We were surrounded by family and friends, we had our son Carl and his wife Lori and our grandchildren, Jake, Cassandra, Dean, and my daughter Dana and son-in-law Michael and grandchildren Alexa, Michael, and Vanessa with by my sister Jennie and brother-in-law Leo Vento, with their daughter Barbara and son-in-law Billy Castellano and their son Michael and daughter Jenna. My son-in-law’s sister Joanne and hubby John Carbonaro came with their daughter Lauren, who is part of the cousins club that Jenna and Alexa belong to, with cousin Marie that couldn’t make it. But these three beautiful teenagers laughed, giggled, and flirted the entire game. They were the first to run down to the field level to dance, catch the throw-a-ways from the King Henry and his troops of comic characters, or balls from the players. Oh, yes, there was a tight ball game going on in between all the audience activities and festivities.
All I could swear to was that everyone that came on my behalf had a wonderful time and glad they came. I do want to thank all of you that came and honored me with your presence. So you others, give your family and yourself a treat go and enjoy a Brooklyn Cyclones ball game and support Brooklyn’s own ball team. Sharon did and she loved it!
Screech at you next week!