In politics, life imitates the Junior High School

Way back in the middle of the last century, the arguments that took place between the students of Junior High School 149 in East New York always ended in name calling. Instead of wisdom, there were references to one’s mother, his brain, and his bowels.

It seems that no matter how many years have passed and how much older we have become, some junior high school students never matured. Instead of valid debates, they still jump into the gutter and resort to insults. We see a lot of that in politics from both sides of the aisle, most recently from the president’s former press secretary, Robert Gibbs.

Mr. Gibbs said nothing concrete about Donald Trumps’ involvement in the current campaign, but he did manage to call him a “right-wing nut job.” Hey there Mr. Gibbs, you should be as intelligent and successful as Donald Trump. But then again, according to your side, those who are successful are now the enemy. It is currently a sin to achieve.

I have a reader that does the same thing. Instead of growing up and presenting valid disagreements with me, he jumps in the gutter and displays a lack of intelligence by calling me names. Hey pal. You never left the school yard.

• • •

Shhhh. Please don’t tell Mayor Bloomberg. We just bought a 32-ounce container of soda.

We’re also going to have another grandchild, our eighth. The new mommy intends to use baby formula. Again. Shhhhh. Please don’t tell the mayor. I know all about the benefits of breastfeeding, but I’m smart. I stay on the good side of my kids by minding my own business.

• • •

On the subject of grandchildren, Grandparents Day is coming up very soon. Being a grandpa is great. It’s the only part of my life that lives up to its advance hype. Every other part of my life, no matter how wonderful, had a measure of disappointment.

“Wait until you graduate from college.”

Now you have to get a job.

“Wait until you get married.”

Now you have to share a toilet.

“Wait until you own your own home.”

Now you are responsible for the leaks in the roof.

But “wait until you become a grandpa.”

Oh wow. You hold him, you hug him, you sing to him, you cuddle with him, you can’t wait for him to grow old enough to take him fishing or to a Mets game. You hug him some more. You love him. And then you look at your watch. “It’s time to head for home. Here sweetheart. Take your baby.”

Happy Grandparents Day!

• • •

Carol’s passion has always been to travel and see the world. In our 53 years of marriage, we have toured many countries and sailed on loads of cruises. Realizing that we are getting on in years Carol mentioned that there is only one place that is still on her bucket list.

“I really would like to see the Taj Mahal. No! Not the one in Atlantic City. I want to visit the Taj Mahal in Agra.”

At about the same time you will be reading this, we will be aboard Air India flight #101 destined for New Delhi. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net wishing you all (and to my editor, fine gentleman that he is, who warned me not to drink from the Ganges) I won’t even drink from their faucets. Whenever we are in exotic regions we always make use of beverages in sealed containers. Have you ever brushed your teeth with Vodka?

Read Stan Gershbein's column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.

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