As the great English essayist Charles Lamb once said, “The good things in life are not to be had singly, but come to us with a mixture.”
Here are some examples:
I understand that our presidential candidates flew hundreds of thousands of miles, zigzagging across the nation campaigning. I wonder if this entitles them to frequent-flier points.
No longer can I root for the Giants. Nor will I bother to cheer for the Jets. I am New York all the way. Once you cross over the bridge you no longer have my support. I now root for the last remaining football team in New York. Let’s Go Buffalo!
Who says this was a lousy campaign? I think it was great. The candidates had more funny lines than “Saturday Night Live.” Instead of writing political speeches, their writers would do better creating sitcoms for NBC.
Best Line of the week: First give credit for it, to the gum-chewing Canarsie High School senior who works one of the check-out counters about her date last night, while ringing up my order. “Not only was he good-looking … he had lots of class. After the movies, we went to Burger King and would you believe he didn’t even use coupons?”
Ever hear of Lynn Samuels? She’s a telephone talk show hostess on WABC, who loves-loves-loves Michael Dukakis … so much so, that on Nov. 9, not 24 hours after Bush was elected, she was talking about impeachment proceedings against him. Please, Lynn. First let the man be inaugurated before you make a damn fool of yourself.
The brightest kid in town is in the kindergarten at PS 115 in Canarsie. He’ll impress you with his knowledge of colors. He says he knows that yellow and blue make green, “’cause when I go the bathroom and I make yellow in the blue water, it turns green.”
There is a new program in town, whereby a drug addict can swap his used needles for new ones for free. This is a bit confusing. It is a fact that a bona fide diabetic, who is dependent on an insulin injection to stay alive, must visit a physician, obtain a written prescription, then visit a pharmacy and only by surrendering that piece of paper can he then buy his needles.
It’s only my opinion, but I think that this is a case whereby once again the good guys get penalized, while the bad guys get a reward. I am Stang