Jo’s got her finger on the pulse of ABC

I guess ABC was listening. Last year I begged the beleaguered network to bring back Billy Crystal as host of the Oscars, and guess what? There he was singing and dancing (well, singing) to my delight on Sunday night. So I guess this proves it (as Sally Field would say: “They read me, they really, read me!”).

Anyway, Billy made the night a memorable one, his opening movie montage, as usual, was clever, clean, and classy, not bad for the three “C’s.” Billy Crystal knows how to MC Hollywood’s biggest night— just a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and all with tongue-in-cheek. If I had one complaint, it was that the music was a bit too loud and it tended to over-shadow his lyrics, then again, it could have been the sound on my old dinosaur TV, but all in all it was a great opening performance. Besides how can you go wrong when you have George Clooney kissing Billy or anyone else for that matter.

Last year, the Oscar for best movie was awarded to an English flick, “The King’s Speech,” with Colin Firth, this year’s best movie nod went to a French offering, “The Artist,” a black-and-white, silent movie about love, pride, and the fickle finger of filmdom. Hey, maybe next year it will be one of ours — you never know.

But enough about movies — let’s get to the couture of the night: the red-carpet fashions:

My number one choice was the Marchesa number worn by Stacy Keibler, liquid gold at its best; next was Penelope Cruz, stunning and classy as always in a very Hollywood glam Armani Prive gown; Natalie Portman in a 1954 Dior polka dot strapless, outré retro, outré cute; Michelle Williams in the very coral Louis Vuitton gown with the stylish peplum; and, last but not least, Octavia Spencer in the Shoji beaded number that fit her like a glove and took advantage of her very best curves.

Ladies that should have looked in the mirror before they left the house included J-Lo in a dress that really didn’t flatter anything at all (even with the non-malfunction); Tina Fey in basic black with a peplum that shouldn’t have been there; Rooney Mara, the girl of Dragon Tattoo fame would have been better served in a full-length tattoo, the unflattering white lace dust cloth she wore did little; Melissa McCarthy, who said she designed her own frock, should stick to comedy and leave couture to the experts; sadly, Sandra Bullock’s dress — let’s just say far too unstructured.

Last on the “What were they thinking” list was Emma Stone, I like her. She’s cute and appealing. But the outfit with the big bow at the neck clashed with her hair and made her head look like a loosely tied package, barely attached to the rest of her.

Not for Nuthin™, thank you ABC for bringing Billy back. I was actually able to stay awake for the whole show this year. But for next year, stick to your guns, don’t invite Sacha Baron Cohen, AKA “The Dictator” — he’s really not funny.

Columnist Joanna DelBuono writes about national affairs — and fashion — every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at jdelbuono@cnglocal.com.

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