Our pigskin peregrinator Ida Eisenstein decided to extend her Norwegian sojourn for another week, leaving, friends, family — and the butcher at the Silver Star meat market — curious if she’ll ever find her way back home. Eisenstein is refusing to say what’s keeping her, but insiders suspect she’s in heated talks with the Ministry of Fisheries about whether to open up mackerel fishing in Grytafjorden, the heretofore protected waterway north of Stavanger. But another source spied Eisenstein, alone and carefree, dining on pepper-glazed rack of reindeer at Feinschmecker, one of Oslo’s best restaurants. In broken Norwegian, Eisenstein reportedly said this to her waiter, courtesy of poet Henrik Ibsen, her inspiration of the week: “A forest bird never wants a cage.”
Jets (+2.5), Falcons (-11), Giants (-7), Saints (-7.5), Seahawks (+4.5), Bills (-2), Texans (-6), Steelers (+3), Titans (-6.5), Bengals (-1), Browns (+7), Ravens (-2).
Packers (-14) over Chiefs:
“Did you see what they did to the Raiders last week?”
Raiders (-1) over Lions:
“They have to bounce back.”
Bucs (+2.5) over Cowboys:
“The Cowboys don’t impress me.”
Ida’s Kryptonite Lock of the Week:
Broncos (-3.5) over Patriots:
“That kid Tebow, I like him.”
104-96-6, 9-5 on Kryptonite Lock of the Week.