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Note-passing nincompoop hits Bensonhurst

Bank botch

A thief tried to rob a Chase Bank on 18th Avenue in Bensonhurst on Feb. 7, but ended up escaping empty-handed.

Workers at the bank, which is near 65th Street, told police that the thief entered at 10:45 am, walked up to the teller window, and passed a threatening note written on a brown piece of paper.

But the teller refused to respond to the note.

The outraged thief banged on each teller window before running off.

No class

Three thugs jumped a teen for his chain at an Ocean Parkway school on Feb. 14, but their attempt was thwarted by a passing teacher.

The thieves ordered their victim to hand over his chain inside Lincoln High School, which is between Shore Parkway and West Street, at 1:36 pm. One 17-year-old suspect was arrested for the attempted robbery.

Door dangers

A thug was arrested for plunging a knife into a Brighton Eighth Street apartment door as he threatened an opponent on Feb. 14.

The victim was inside his home, which is between Banner and Neptune avenues, when the 24-year-old suspect came by and threatened him.

“I am going to kill you,” the man said before jamming the knife in the door, leaving a deep divot.

Trading up

A thief broke into Wei Trading Inc. on 18th Avenue on Feb. 8, taking $50.

Workers at the business, which is near 69th Street, said that someone forced open a back window sometime before 9 am, taking the money from the cash register.

Left cold

A thief broke into a Shore Parkway apartment building on Feb. 7 after forcing in an air conditioner sticking out of a window.

The thief removed the key for a lock box that contains keys to all of the apartments, according to the superintendent, who fears the thief may have access to the whole building.

Dunkin dunce

An unhinged 20-year-old was arrested for going ballistic against a Dunkin’ Donuts employee on Bay Parkway on Feb. 7, after he refused to let the young man use the restroom.

Police said that when the employee refused the man access to the bathroom of the store, which is near 85th Street, at 12:45 pm, the man chucked a napkin dispenser at the employee, stricking him in the hand.

Menorah menace

An employee of the Menorah Home and Hospital on Oriental Boulevard siphoned more than $1,000 from the company’s coffers, cops were told.

Administrators said that the 29-year-old worker had forged his name on two company checks by Feb. 11.

Car raid

Thieves broke into a 2010 Nissan parked near the Sheepshead Bay UA movie theater on Feb. 10, taking a coat and a pair of sneakers found inside.

The car was parked inside the Shore Parkway theater parking lot when it was broken into sometime after 9 pm.

No charge

A thief tried to swipe 11 Duracell batteries from an Avenue Y Stop & Shop on Feb. 12, but police ended up powering him down.

Officials took the 33-year-old thief into custody at 5:50 pm after he swiped the batteries from store shelves.

$600 arrest

A 20-year-old man was arrested on Feb. 13 after he tried to buy his way out of an arrest on Voorhies Avenue.

Police said they pulled the young man over for driving a car with tinted windows at 2:30 pm near Knapp Street, but when they checked his license, they found that he didn’t have one.

The officer was going to take him in when he offered the officer $500 to let him go.

But the officer didn’t blink, adding bribery to the suspect’s list of charges.

iPad swipe

A thug ran off with a woman’s iPad on Jan. 26 after he saw her tinkering with the computer tablet on a D train rumbling through Bensonhurst.

The victim got off the train at the 18th Avenue station at 85th Street at 1:10 am and was walking down New Utrecht Avenue when the thief grabbed the bag containing the pricey computer.

“Give me the iPad or I will stab you,” the thief said before swiping the bag and running off down New Utrecht Avenue.

Shot in the neck

A gunman opened fire on a Coney Island Avenue businessman on Feb. 5, hitting him in the neck.

The victim told police that he had just left his business, which is between Avenues X and Y, at 3:35 am and was heading toward his car when he stepped into the gunman’s sights.

The bullet pierced his neck, leaving a minor injury, police said.