Quantcast

Our columnist eats dog food

Our columnist eats dog food
Community Newspaper Group / Vince DiMiceli

Don’t think of it as dog food. Think of it as the ultimate conversation starter.

Hannah Mandelbaum and Alison Wiener, makers of Ever More Hearty Dog Food, threw down the ultimate gustatory gauntlet this week when they vowed to eat their high-end chicken or beef puppy chow every day for the entire month of March.

Well, I’ve consumed some crazy nutrients for The Brooklyn Paper (yes, I’m thinking about those caffeine suppositories and that time I ate bugs) and I’ve done some questionable things (look, the less said about that all-nude drawing class, the better), so you bet I bought a front-row ticket to this dog-and-pony show.

Mandelbaum and Wiener sent over a quart of the good stuff — a mix of chicken, chicken organs, yams, carrots, kale, barley, vitamins, minerals and pumpkin seeds — and I got to work.

Because when the going gets tough, the tough eat dog food.

And you know what? It’s meaty and a bit grainy, yes, but the only discerable scent comes from the kale. It’s a bit like pate — but more bland, the kind of pate that a French poodle would sniff at and then walk away.

But since when have I valued the opinions of French poodles?

I could have stopped at one bite — journalism had been served, after all (hello, Pulitzer committee!) — but something made me put the fork in again. It’s good.

And when I added a touch of hot sauce — human hot sauce, of course. I don’t eat dog hot sauce — it’s actually delicious.

Would I eat Evermore dog food every day? Sure — but at $14 a quart, I’m going to need to find some rich bitch to keep me in the style to which I have become accustomed.