78th Precinct
Park Slope
What’s the opposite of an olive branch?
Police busted a man suspected of beating a guy with a tree limb in Prospect Park on May 9.
The victim told police he was near Ocean and Parkside avenues in the park at 3:20 pm when a stranger matching the suspect’s description cracked a branch over his back.
You’re fired
Cops arrested a worker at a Flatbush Avenue clothing boutique for allegedly pocketing cash from the register in a spree that began on March 13.
The shop owner told police his employee, 21, routinely pilfered the cash drawer of the fashion store near Atlantic Avenue, amassing an illicit $2,263 off his boss’s back.
At least he brushes
Police nabbed an alleged crack head suspected of stealing $56 worth of toothpaste from a Flatbush Avenue pharmacy on May 10.
An employee told police the suspect fled with 12 stolen tubes of Colegate from the drugstore between Prospect and Park places at 5 am, but cops were able to spot him following a brief search later that day, and the witness was able positively identify him.
Upon his arrest, police searched the man and uncovered a pipe covered in crack residue, cops said.
Free pass
A restaurant owner has refused to press charges on the alleged drunk suspected of “unintentionally” smashing a Sixth Avenue eatery’s door on May 13.
The restaurateur told police the suspect inflicted $300 worth of damage to the side entrance of his eatery between Fifth and Sixth avenues at 10:10 pm, but that he didn’t mean to and was also very drunk.
At any rate, the suspect seems to have done more damage to himself than the door, and was taken to Methodist Hospital following his accident, cops said.
Punch-drunk penny pincher
Investigators have given up the hunt for the miserly merrymaker who stiffed the bar at a Flatbush Avenue diner on May 8.
A server told police she poured the jerk $79 worth of booze inside the eatery near Atlantic Avenue at 5:05 pm, but the louse only left $30 on the bar when he fled with his ill-gotten buzz.
The wrong foot
A thief stole more than $300 worth of socks and sneakers from a Flatbush Avenue chain store on May 12.
An employee told police that the suspect grabbed four pairs of shoes and three pairs of socks from the retailer near Atlantic Avenue at 2:55 pm, before slinking out with his ill-gotten footware.
Shattered
Some jerk busted a man’s car window on Grand Army Plaza on May 3.
The victim told police he parked his 2003 Ford between Eastern Parkway and Flatbush Avenue at 11:30 pm, and returned the next morning to find his front passenger-side window smashed.
— Colin Mixson
