Schoolhouse rocker offers to do teens’ homework if they’ll come to shows • Brooklyn Paper

Schoolhouse rocker offers to do teens’ homework if they’ll come to shows

Quid pro show: Concert promoter Jordan Michael Iannucci thinks he can get high schoolers to come to his do-it-yourself events by doing their homework himself.
Photo by Stefano Giovannini

An underground concert promoter is offering to do high school kids’ homework if they come to his shows.

Jordan Michael Iannucci has been booking indie acts at venues such as the Silent Barn, Death By Audio, and Shea Stadium since he was a teen himself and made the offer in hopes of enticing a younger crowd to his all-ages events.

“This job becomes more interesting to me when I’m doing more than just throwing parties for drunk 23-year-olds,” said Iannucci, who also used to write for Showpaper, a bi-weekly listing of do-it-yourself music events. “I like the idea of helping an obnoxious and embarrassing kid get through an obnoxious and embarrassing part of his life.”

Ianucci put a few conditions on the offer. Students must text him with their assignments by the end of the school day; there is no guarantee he will do a perfect, or even competent job; and takers must promise to not sneak alcohol into the show or arrive drunk. The altruistic anti-authoritarian said he would even consider writing someone’s term paper in exchange for the guarantee of a youngster’s presence at several shows.

Doing the kids’ homework is only part of the package. Iannucci hopes the homework will get the kids in the door so that he can school them about topics that he considers more important than algebra and chemistry, such as how to enjoy music and art without getting wasted.

“It’s really important, when kids do start going to shows, that they get the right things out of it and not the bad things,” said Iannucci. “I think alcohol is a s—– thing that makes people’s lives worse.”

His preaching may be preemptive, though, because so far he has not had any takers. He took one girl up on her request for help convincing her parents to let her travel to Bushwick alone at night to see shows, but they were un-swayed.

A couple of college students asked for help with their take-home tasks, but he refused because he is against college.

“They are volunteering to do more homework and even taking loans out to do it,” he said about college kids. “High school is the last time you’re forced to do homework and be around people who have nothing to do with you.”

The punk rocker’s proffer of plagiarism might not sit well with most teachers, but an old mentor of his says the effort is admirable.

“It’s a heck of a way to get kids’ attention,” said Marc Gawron, Iannucci’s high school economics teacher. “If that doesn’t spark interest in a kid, what kind of kid is that?”

Reach reporter Danielle Furfaro at dfurfaro@cnglocal.com or by calling (718) 260-2511. Follow her at twitter.com/DanielleFurfaro.

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