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Stan once again cleans his pockets — and his mind • Brooklyn Paper

Stan once again cleans his pockets — and his mind

From the corners of my pockets and the crevices of my mind here are more tidbits to stimulate conversation.

Homeland Security recently ordered 450 million rounds of hollow-point bullets. Why? For what purpose does the agency need that much ammo? Homeland security people rarely use guns so why is this stockpile necessary? Does the agency know something we don’t know, or is this just another example of excessive spending and waste by our federal government?

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I heard it again this week for the umpteenth time. My president says that it is necessary for me to pay my fair share, but he still hasn’t told me how much my fair share is. Does anyone care to venture a guess?

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By now everyone knows that the new Egyptian government hates the United States. So why do we continue to hand them $1.3 billion (that’s billion with a capitol “B”). Then again, most of the nations that stick out their hands for our money do not vote with us in the United Nations. It’s time we started to rethink our policies concerning foreign aid.

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It looks like Oprah’s venture into cable TV is on life support. I’ve never watched it, but I know a few people who have, and they tell me they don’t do so very often because it is, in one word, booooorrrring.

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Another man was arrested in an internet sting. When will these depraved fools learn that the cute 13-year-old girl they meet in a chat room is really a 40-year-old detective? Throw the book at the pervert.

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The sign read “Niagara Water On Sale.” I bought five cases. I thought it said “Viagra Water.”

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BJ’s is now giving away a 60-day trial membership. Anyone coming along, who has never even been in a BJ’, gets two months for free while we who have been loyal, dues paying members for years get nothing. I resent that.

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I predict that my president will sign that Keystone project before November. He is too smart to let all those jobs go astray.

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I can understand the Maryland woman claiming to have that million dollar lottery ticket when she didn’t. I can also understand a lawyer jumping in on the situation to protect and defend her. One was looking for her 15 minutes of fame. The other was motivated by greed. Just plain greed.

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The world’s largest circulation marine industry publication is the Maritime Reporter and Engineering News. I never heard of it either until a neighbor left me a copy. From the March issue: “The New York metropolitan area is known for many things, but cheap labor is not among them, and the labor intensive ship repair industry generally flourishes in regions ripe with volumes of affordable help.”

We know that laborers want to earn as much as possible, and nobody blames them, but there comes a point when they outsmart themselves. I have to wonder how many other industries have been chased away by local high priced labor.

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With the price of gas still on the rise, a purchase of an electric automobile will eventually pay for itself. The operative word here is “eventually.” How long, in numbers, is eventually?

The folks who crunch numbers announced last month that the Chevy Volt will pay for itself in 26.6 years. At my age I don’t think I can wait that long. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net also telling you that at my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.

Read Stan Gershbein's opinions every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com, but sometimes on Tuesdays, like today.

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