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It’s Never Scared and Bacon Bits!

The Brooklyn Paper
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Brooklyn Kickball powerhouse teams Never Scared and Bacon Bits are off to a fast start this year, despite several mini-dust tornadoes appearing on the field and record-cold temperatures at the McCarren Park Thunderdome on Sunday night.

With a 4-0 record, Never Scared is alone in first place, having dispatched last year’s semifinalists, Brooklyn United, 2-0, and stomped the 2009 champions, the John Cougar Mellencamps in a double-header.

“Never Scared has beaten all the best teams. There are four, maybe five contenders, Never Scared being one of them, and they have already taken care of two of them,” said League Commissioner Kevin “Commish” Dailey.

Close behind are the Bacon Bits, which feasted on Diddy’s White Party on Sunday night, winning 3-0; and Crucial Taunts, also 3-0, who beat a resurgent People’s Court

Both winners will collide in a heavyweight early season matchup in the coming weeks — and insiders say it’s a preview of a playoff matchup to come.

Keep an eye on the scrappy Majesty squad, too. Led by 2008 Rookie of the Year “Rocking” Rochelle Fainstein, the Majesties are predicting a solid year.

“I think newcomer Sara Stryjewski sums it up best, ‘If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch!’ ” said Fainstein. “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

Last year’s titans, the Mellencamps and the New Frontiersmen have sputtered through two weeks, but it really looks like a long summer for the Sugar Tits! and Dolls with Balls, which are led by the legendary captain Julia “Edward R” Morrow. Look, Dolls with Balls are 0-3 — and they recorded the league’s worst blowout loss this season, but they’re a great bunch of dolls (and one guy) with balls.

Plus, Morrow is confident that the turnaround is just around the corner. Plus, there’s something much more important than the win-loss column; there’s soul, fight, heart and fashion.

“We have three losses, but we have team sashes and badges!” said Morrow.

No one covers Brooklyn Kickball like Courier-Life. Check back for regular updates in these pages all summer long. Courier-Life — your source for kickball action.

Updated 5:18 pm, July 9, 2018
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