The usual suspects advance in kickball playoffs

The usual suspects advance in kickball playoffs
Photo by Elizabeth Graham

The field is down to 16.

The favorites among Brooklyn Kickball’s middling squads and bottom-dwellers advanced from the first round of the postseason on Sunday after surviving an exhausting 11 hours of dusty action in McCarren Park.

Division leaders Ramrod, Baywatch, Booze on First, Salute Your Jorts, and Bacon Bits, joined by Sugar Tits!, Recession Aggression and Kickiables, all moved on in commanding fashion to face the John Cougar Mellencamps and kickball’s other top seeded teams next weekend when the playoffs begin in earnest.

On Sunday, both Ramrod and the Bits looked impressive sweeping their three games.

The Bits mercied Tacos Taco Taco, deflated Saved by the Balls, 5–3 and cleaned up Hot Mess, 6–0, while Ramrod mercied Dolls Kicking Balls, shaved off Zeus’ Beard, 6–2, and torpedoed the Pirates, 9–3.

“Ramrod looked very good — they’re going to show some people next week,” said League Commissioner Kevin “Commish” Dailey. “Keegan ‘Eurydice’ Iodice is playing like an MVP candidate after hitting so many RBIs.”

In other games, Baywatch and Recession locked legs in a scoreless tie, but both advanced on the strength of other wins. Booze stomped on Natural Born Winners and stymied the Kickiables, 4–1. And Jorts posted a solid win over Drinkers with a Kicking Problem, 7–1, giving them a boost.

The round was marked by few surprises — the only division leader that did not advance was Diddy’s White Party, which had to scratch because it could not field enough players. Instead, Sugar Tits! wiggled its way into the second round.

But several teams’ dreams died hard on the Gilroy Field.

Kickball Fever, Kickey Mouse Club and Livin on a Prayer also had to forfeit due to lack of players.

And Hot Mess’ magical up-and-down season finally came to an end after the team finished 1–2, dropping games to the Bits and Saved by the Balls in a tough division.

But on the bright side, the team welcomed its newest player, two-week-old Lillet Jolie Lindsay, daughter of Hot Messers, David “The Mayor” Lindsay and his wife, Jolie.

“We are doing a shower for them next week, and we are getting them a sitter so they can attend the Kick ‘Ball’ on Saturday,” said Hot Mess fielder Ashley “Turtle” Terrill.

Brooklyn Kickball playoffs at Gilroy Field in McCarren Park (Bedford Avenue at N. 13th Street in Greenpoint), Sunday, 11 am–11 pm.

Guy “Hung” Hoag, Ramrod
Photo by Elizabeth Graham