Bay Ridge has gone international.
A Greek festival, some early St. Patrick’s Day cheer, and a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania are all waiting for you in the Ridge.
On Friday, get to Holy Cross Greek Orthodox Church (8401 Ridge Blvd. at 84th Street) for the Greek Cultural Festival from 2 pm to 11 pm. The church is putting together a outdoor taverna (ouzo anyone?) and Yianni Papastefanou and Orchestra will bust out bouzouki and tympani to keep crowds dancing. If you miss it on Friday, you’ll have chances to yell “Opa! on Saturday and Sunday starting at noon. But if anyone tries to send you home with a wooden horse, politely decline.
When you have had your fill of grape leaves and yogurt, take a drive on Shore Road and make sure to break down near the Narrows Botanical Garden (between 71st Street and Mackay Place) to catch a free screening of cult musical “Rocky Horror Picture Show” starting at 7:30 pm. Tradition dictates you bring a ton of crap to throw in the air at key scenes, but we suggest that you leave the rice, toast, and toilet paper at home, since the screening is in a park. Still, if you see anyone named Brad or Janet, you should probably give them a piece of your mind.
Talk about a creole! On Friday, you can also go see bayou-tinged rockers Dave Clive’s Nawlins Funk Band at German gaststÃ¤tte Schnitzel Haus (7319 Fifth Ave. between 73rd and 74th streets). The Louisiana-inspired kraut-rock kicks off at 8:30 pm.
And may the wind be ever at your back on Saturday as you trek the hills and dales to Wicked Monk (9510 Third Ave. between 95th and 96th streets) for a Half-Way to St. Patrick’s Day Celebration with Irish rockers the Canny Brothers at 11 pm. If you have lived in Bay Ridge for more than five minutes, you should know how important St. Patrick’s Day is — and attendance to this hooley is wholly mandatory.