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This smartphone thief is dumb! • Brooklyn Paper

This smartphone thief is dumb!

Dumb phone

A low-tech thief was so dumb that he couldn’t even use the smartphone that he stole from a woman at a Fulton Street doctor’s office on Oct. 24.

The phone’s owner was flipping through a magazine in the office, which is near S. Elliot Place, at around 9:30 am, and was not paying attention to her Blackberry, which she’d plugged into a nearby outlet.

Indeed, she didn’t see that a cell stealer reached down and grabbed her $400 device, then walked out of the office.

But the victim’s family and friends certainly noticed the crime because the thief kept calling them all day, asking how to use the fancy phone.

Orange alert

A thief nabbed a citrus-colored motorcycle from a parking spot on Willoughby Street near the Metrotech Center.

The biker told cops that he’d left his orange Kawasaki at 4:30 pm on Oct. 20, but when he returned to it at 9:30 the next morning, he found that a thief had broken the steering lock and taken off with his flashy ride.

Musical cars

A thug struck a wrong note when he took off with a Brooklyn Academy of Music employee’s Toyota Camry, which had been parked near the music hub on Lafayette Avenue near St. Felix Street on Oct. 20.

The four door’s owner parked it at about 5 pm, but when he returned 24 hours later, the $10,000 sedan was missing.

High-tech take

A thief sneaked through the window of a Cumberland Street apartment and made off with loads of pricey electronics on Oct. 22.

The two roommates told cops that they had left their apartment, near the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, at around 8:30 am. One returned at 7:45 pm to find that a marauder had gotten in through an unlocked kitchen window and taken two flat-screen TVs and two Xboxes. The crook also pocketed some jewelry and $1,000.

See thug run

A thief attempted to steal a teen’s cellphone on Oct. 24, but the scrappy young victim triumphed in the face of violence.

A 17-year-old was walking near the northeast corner of Fort Greene Park at around 10:30 pm when a thug approached and said, “Give me your phone.”

The assailant punched his victim numerous times, but the teenager held his own. He retained the cellular device and hopped across the street to the hospital to get treatment while the beefy perp ran for cover.

Garden of evil

A thief snatched a bag hanging from a chair at Fulton Street beer garden, providing a sinister end for a wholesome family gathering on Oct. 24.

The victim was seated at Der Schwarze Kolner at about 7:45 pm, but when she tried to pay for her meal about an hour later, she discovered that a purse snatcher had taken everything — $100, a computer hard drive and a Metrocard.

Slash and burn

An unruly nightclub patron slashed a security guard in the neck at a venue on Lawrence Street on Oct. 24.

The bouncer told cops that a woman complained to him about a man with dreadlocks hassling her inside the nightspot near Duffield Street. But when the bouncer tried to eject the bad drunk at around 2:45 am, the two started yelling at one another on the sidewalk.

That’s when the perp took out his weapon and swung at the guard before running off.

The bouncer was not seriously wounded.

Desk set

A sneaky thief posing as a customer grabbed a woman’s wallet at an antique furniture store on Oct. 20.

The victim was paying up at Lobel Modern, an upscale vintage boutique on Bond Street near Livingston Street, at around 4:30 pm when she placed her wallet down on the counter. Seconds later, it was gone. The woman who had been waiting behind her in line was also suspiciously missing from the premises, presumably with the billfold.

Beauty creep

Another billfold disappeared from the Hair Wig Beauty Supply on Fulton Street on Oct. 23.

The middle-aged victim was shopping inside the store, which is near Nevins Street, at around 1:45 pm when she was bumped by the thief who picked her wallet from her purse.

Hyper heister

An adrenaline-fueled thief grabbed a wad of money from a man’s hand at the Hyperactive boutique on the corner of Elm Place and Fulton Street on Oct. 23 — then ran.

The victim had just made a purchase at around 4:15 pm, and was putting his money back into his pocket when the unknown perp snatched the $102 and dashed off.

iGone twice

Thieves swiped the iPhones right out of two people’s hand last week.

In the first incident, the victim told cops that she was at the corner of Fifth Avenue and Ninth Street on Oct. 19 at around 6:30 pm when a man she never even saw came out of nowhere to grab the fancy smartphone.

The perp than hopped onto a waiting bicycle and sped off.

Two days later, a thief grabbed the iPhone out of a 39-year-old man’s hands at the corner of Fourth Avenue and First Street at around 8:10 pm.

Norway no way

A Norwegian national probably forgot that life in the big city can be mean when she placed her pocketbook on her front stoop for a few seconds on Oct. 19 and then turned around to find it gone.

The 35-year-old told cops that she had placed the purse down on the stoop of her building, which is on Eighth Avenue near Eighth Street, at around 1:30 pm, and it was gone seconds later.

The bag had contained $80, cards and her Norwegian passport.

Twice burned

A man had his old Honda Civic stolen last week — the second time since May that thieves swiped the hotly desired wheels.

In the most recent incident, the victim told cops that he’d parked his 12-year-old Honda on 12th Street between Fifth and Sixth avenues at around 10 pm on Oct. 17. Two days later, when he went to retrieve it, it was gone.

That’s when the victim told cops his sad tale: a thief had swiped the same car from him back in May.

The theft of the old Honda won’t surprise regular Police Blotter readers — decade-plus–old Civics make frequent appearances in these pages. Cops say that the old fuel-sipping models are easy to break into and turn into hot rods.

Burg watchers

At least two shops and one home were burglarized last week. Here’s a round-up:

• A Fourth Avenue dry cleaners was robbed overnight on Oct. 21. The owner had locked up the laundry, which is between Union and President streets, at around 10:30 pm, but when he showed up for work the next morning, he found that his gates had been clipped and $225 had been taken.

• A thief busted into a 10th Street apartment on Oct. 22 and cleaned it out of thousands of dollars in video games and computers. The owner told cops that she was not in the unit, which is between Fifth and Sixth avenues, from 8 am until just after midnight.

• A popular Fifth Avenue restaurant was broken into early on Oct. 24. The thief broke through the basement of Mulino, which is between Sterling and St. Johns places sometime after 1 am to steal $1,100 from a lockbox.

Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Baltic assault

A pair of armed crooks struck a 19-year-old in the face and stole his cash and cellphones in a brutal Oct. 22 robbery.

The thugs pulled a black revolver on the victim inside the lobby of his Baltic Street building at around 11:40 pm and struck him in the face with a blunt object, leaving the victim with a laceration in his mouth.

The muggers then stole $300, plus a Sidekick and a Blackberry, and fled from the building, which is between Bond and Hoyt streets.

Teenaged riot

Police nabbed a pair of teenaged perps suspected of slugging a 38-year-old man in the face on the Hamilton Avenue bridge on Oct. 22.The duo approached their mark on the walkway over the fetid Gowanus Canal at 1:50 pm and “struck the victim with a closed fist, causing redness, pain and swelling,” according to a police source.

Minutes later, Officer Kensington Cunningham nabbed an 18-year-old and a 16-year-old suspected of the assault. The duo was cuffed near the corner of Hicks Street and found in possession of a contraband gravity knife.

Smash and nab

Cops locked up a perp suspected of heisting a navigation device from a car on Oct. 21.

The thief snatched the Garmin box from a vehicle parked at the corner of Henry and Degraw streets at around 1:20 am, but Officer Jose Cofresi cuffed a 26-year-old suspect moments later when he spotted the perp with the high-tech mapping mechanism.

Cha-ching!

A thief snatched $1,600 from a cash register in a Columbia Street shop on Oct, 24.

The perp entered through the front door between 5:30 am and 7 am and grabbed the dough before fleeing the business, which is between Hamilton Avenue and Woodhull Street.

Come on, baby

A smooth criminal sweet-talked a woman and snatched her cellphone and purse on Oct. 26.

The mugger approached the 40-year-old victim at around 6:40 am and complimented her on her fine looks.

“Girl, you look nice today!” he told her as they stood on the corner of Morgan and Johnson avenues.

Then, he abruptly changed topics, demanding her money and phone. He got both before fleeing.

knifePhone

Two knife-toting bad guys stuck up a man for his iPhone in the vestibule of his Hope Street apartment on Oct. 23.

The 33-year-old victim told cops that he was inside the building, which is between Roebling and Havemeyer streets, at around 8 pm, when a perp entered and pulled a knife, demanding to “see” the iPhone.

Meanwhile, the other mugger ransacked the victim’s pockets, but found nothing else worth taking, and the crooks fled.

No holds barred

Two muggers jumped a woman on Montrose Avenue and got away with her purse on Oct. 24.

The 26-year-old was between Graham Avenue and Humboldt Street at around 8 pm when one wrestler put her in a chokehold and threw her to the ground while the other perp tried, but failed, to grab her purse. The first thug then let go of the woman and snatched her purse, which contained $65, credit cards, and IDs.

Hot dog!

A perp, hungry for more than just food, rolled a hot dog cart under a fire escape, climbed through a Grand Street apartment window, and made off with expensive electronics on Oct. 23.

The crook got inside the apartment, which is between Berry Street and Bedford Avenue, at around 2 am and helped himself to the 30-year-old’s Apple laptop and costly Canon camera. The then fled the same way he’d entered.

Diabetic devil

More than $2,600 in blood glucose strips were swiped from the Duane Reade pharmacy on 86th Street on Oct. 18.

Cops said that the chain store between Fourth and Fifth avenues was open for business at 8 pm when a thief jumped over the pharmacy counter and grabbed up boxes upon boxes of the test strips.

Basement burg

Talk about a low blow: thieves broke into two basement apartments within a three-day span last week.

First, on Oct. 19, someone broke into a basement apartment on 62nd Street near 13th Avenue by kicking in the back door sometime after 7 am. When the 22-year-old victim returned at 5 pm, he found the door open and $500, his jewelry and iPod missing.

Two days later, a 42-year-old man returned to his subterranean apartment on 78th Street near Gatling Place at 10:30 pm to find his door broken off the frame and his 32-inch flat-screen television, Dell laptop, three gold rings, a gold chain and five gold watches missing.

Poor fit

With pit crew precision, a team of thieves made off with the tires from a 2009 Honda Fit that had been parked on 84th Street on Oct. 17.

The car’s owner, 54, told police that she left the car near Dyker Place at 5 pm, but when she returned at 10 am the next morning, all four tires — which cost $2,400 — were missing.

Leaves his mark

A would-be thief raided a Bay Ridge Avenue home sometime last week but left something behind — his footprint.

The 63-year-old resident told police that she returned to her home near 15th Avenue after a two-week vacation on Oct. 18 to find her bedroom window open and a footprint on the windowsill.

Worse than the smudge was the condition of the apartment — all the drawers were open and the place had been ransacked.

That said, nothing was missing.

GTA Billyburg

Three stick-up artists mugged a man at gunpoint and then sped off in his sports car down Jackson Street on Oct. 17.

The 38-year-old victim said he was getting into his car at around 12:30 am when a younger man pointed a grey handgun at him and said, “Drop your keys on the ground.”

Two more perps came up from behind the car, which was between Manhattan Avenue and Graham Avenue, and emptied the victims pockets before all three sped off in the 2004 Acura MDX.

He’s crafty!

A crafty crook used a credit card to open a man’s apartment door on Conselyea Street to steal two laptops on Oct. 19.

The 23-year-old victim told police that his door has no defense to credit cards and can be popped open with a swipe — which is exactly what the computer geek did between 5:30 and 9:30 pm in the apartment, which is between Lorimer Street and Union Avenue.

Climbing crook

A thief climbed a fire escape and through a Guernsey Street window and got away with electronics on Oct. 21.

The victim said that he was out of his apartment, which is between Meserole and Norman avenues, from 7:30 am to 8:45 pm. Between those hours, the thief took advantage of the open window and snatched an Apple laptop and a Bose sound dock.

Barstool snatch

A late-working thief snatched a woman’s bag off a Bedford Avenue barstool early on Oct. 24.

The unknowing 25-year-old victim, pounding drinks at around 3 am at the Charleston, between N. Seventh and N. Eighth streets, said the snatcher got away with $40, a camera, IDs and credit cards.

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