Hannibal marching his elephants through the Alps. Evel Knievel launching his motorcycle over the fountains at Caesars Palace. Fonzie jumping the shark in his leather jacket.
These incredible achievements have put those that have accomplished them in the pantheon of greatness.
And today, they will need to make room for one more.
Because today at noon in Brooklyn, U.S.A., one man will do the unthinkable. The unbelievable. The thing that no one has ever thought someone in their right mind would do.
Today at noon, Christopher Swain will don a drysuit and dive in to one of the most disgusting waterways man has ever created — a waterway naturally fed by raw sewage and acid rain. A fetid, stinking, smelly, filthy waterway known as the Gowanus Canal.
And then, he will take a deep breath, and he will swim 1.8 miles — from its rear-end to its mouth — through every stinky, smelly, filthy, oily greasy thing in between.
Our guess is thousands will risk their own lives and line the banks of the canal to watch the spectacle, watch as Swain swims over and past the schools of Coney Island whitefish, watch as he avoids the flotsam that comes from who knows where, watch as he attempts to accomplish a nautical challenge that we are sure experts will agree is tougher and more dangerous than any swim across the English Channel, any swim from Cuba to Florida, any attempt to escape from Alcatraz.
Like those great men before him, Swain laughs at those who say he can’t possibly get the job done, and ignores pleas from government agencies that say its better he not take the risk.
“I know what I’m getting into,” he told The Brooklyn Paper on Tuesday.
And like those great men before him, he will go down in history.
If he gets the job done.
Godspeed, Mr. Swain. The hopes and prayers of all of Brooklyn — and an entire nation — are with you.
Go and make history.
Christopher Swain swims the Gowanus Canal to raise awareness of the slow-moving cleanup of the area (starting at Butler Street between Bond and Nevins streets in Gowanus). Today at noon. Free. Bring your own chair and one of those splash guards they use at Gallagher concerts.
