You get what you pay for: tickets for parking legally!

I’m madder than an catapedaphobic kangaroo forced to play hopscotch over the city’s insistence on ticketing people for parking even though they’ve coughed up their hard-earned cash to pay for the space they’re in.

Look, you all know that the city has installed these new-fangled “muni-meters” — which take credit cards as well as coins! — so we can pay interest on the 75¢ we pay to park when we go to the dry cleaner. Now, I’m not saying that’s such a bad thing, but I’ll tell you this — it’s a bad thing!

You all know that then when you make that trip to the dry cleaner, you don’t usually use up all the parking time for which you pay. So, when you have to go a few blocks to the bank, you might still have some extra time. And if you’re a tinge overweight like me, you might want to drive to your next stop. So it stands to reason that you should be able to use your ticket from these no-armed bandits over there, right? Of course I’m right!

But according to an exposé by Rich Calder in our sister newspaper, the New York Post, the city isn’t so clear on this. Apparently, officials at the Department of Transportation profess this is the case — but tell that to a judge after you’ve been ticketed, and he’ll usually find you guilty!

And that makes me — and Assemblyman Bill Colton (who, as you all know, I work for part-time, and, not necessarily because of it, but more so because the guy yaps my ear off and thoughts get stuck in my head, I occasionally mention him in this column) — mad!

“Carmine, this is a shell game for the city to make money that borders on fraud,” he said repeatedly while I was typing this. “The city has no rules to address these cases and is cashing in big time by purposely being vague.”

So there you have it, folks. Moving forward, I will no longer refer to it as the “Department of Transportation.” No siree, Bob! I’m hereby calling it the “Department of Tickets!” That’s right. I control the language around here, and I’m not going to let some low-level city bureaucrats tell me what to call things!

Scooting over to another hot topic, angry moms have been told by the city that they’ll have to send their kids to a different school than the one they were promised if they want to put them in pre-K. And I’m angry, too! Apparently and at the last minute, the numbskulls at the Department of Education reassigned kids that were supposed to go to PS 101 to PS 226 — which is like 20 blocks away!

Now, look, you all know I’ll point out when the city does something nice (it happens so infrequently, that I can easily spare the ink), so I’ll point out in one long run-on sentence that the city tried to sweeten the pot by offering these hard-luck moms all-day pre-K classes, rather than the half-day session they were accepted into.

However (and this is a giant, screeching however), tell that to a pregnant mothers who would have to walk 27,400 steps — that’s right, I counted them! — and have their other tot tag along. And if you don’t like that, tell it to the mothers of siblings that now need jets to take them all back and forth.

It’s like being forced to take the subway to Century 21 on 86th Street when there are plenty of good stores right here on the Fulton Mall, many of which advertise in this very newspaper (although, to be honest, I don’t see many ads on that BrooklynDaily.com site. Jeez, I don’t want to tell anyone how to do his job, but that should be money in the bank. Somebody’s gotta sponsor the Screecher!). But I digress.

And I’ll tell you this, if Bloomberg wasn’t protected by his armor of money, he might find parents that could give him better direction than his costly, inept, incompetent, heartless and downright stupid Department of Education puppets, who seem to just follow orders.

Now’s the point in the column where I say something touching about 9-11. I would like to thank the Harway Terrace co-operators who didn’t forget the sacrifices made by two of their own sons — and all those that perished — on 9-11. Sunday morning, a wreath was placed at the flagpole dedicated to the remembrance of firefighters Louis Monaferri and Alan Feinberg, who lived at the houses. Thank you, and to all those who came out (and even those who didn’t), “We will never forget!”

Last but not least: the Bensonhurst West End Community Council resumes its meetings on Monday Sept. 26, at Harway Terrace Community Room, 2475 West 16 St. (off Stillwell Avenue, near Dewey HS) at 7:30 pm. Be there or be square.

Screech at you next week!