Captain’s log: In which our Captain finds a friend in orbit above

Stardate: -311719.67

Thank you @dish for rescuing us from the Faustian @TWCable_NYC with your prompt and professional service.— twitter.com/SirPatStew

In this second episode, our heroic Captain, Sir Patrick Stewart — a new resident of Park Slope who famously played Jean-Luc Picard on “Star Trek: The Next Generation” — finds a powerful ally in deep space to assist him in his fight against the Time Warner Cable empire.

After using Twitter technology to escape a Time Warner cable-installation time-vortex, Stewart was able to establish communications with a Dish Network satellite orbiting the planet.

On the next episode: whatever Sir Patrick Stewart tweets about.