Give us your bearded, your mustached, your mutton-chopped masses yearning to grow free!
A group of Greenpoint pogonophiles are going whisker-to-whisker in the group’s second facial hair takedown — a party that celebrates the magic and grandeur that only a room full of hairy dudes can bring.
It’s a party that will attract the world’s most follically talented men — and a few bearded women (more on that later) — including top beardsmiths such as Jack Passion, who has been described as “the Michael Jordan of full-beard competition.”
At least 50 beards will compete in the Gotham City Beard Alliance event this year in categories including full natural beard; partial beard; 99-percent beard (formally the “recession beard”); fake beard (for women and the follically challenged); natural moustache; styled moustache; and freestyle, which is where the really imaginative hair designs can be found.
Competitive bearding has taken off in the past couple years — partially thanks to the Independent Film Channel’s “Whisker Wars” — a reality show about the nascent sport.
“It’s sort of a niche thing, it’s also become popular because it’s so fun,” said organizer Mike O’Connor, who describes his own belly-button-length growth as “a full, natural beard.”
It’s no secret that Mustached-Americans have long groaned under the yoke of mistrust in the court of public opinion — servants to a hairless master sneering in derision at post-ironic porn-star ’staches.
But beards and mustaches today aren’t just for Tom Selleck and George Carlin, thanks to a growing acceptance of the style among celebrities — including actor Jon Hamm, freak folk phenom Devandra Banhart and pretty much everybody who regularly rides the L train.
And it’s worth noting that the nation’s top law enforcement official, Attorney General Eric Holder, is a Mustached-American.
“At some point it was a sign of a sex appeal to not have any facial hair,” said O’Connor. “People are starting to realize that it is a natural look for men and shows that they are a healthy mate.”
The event will raise money for breast cancer awareness, so now you can grow for a good cause.
Beard and moustache competition at Club Europa [98 Meserole Ave. between Manhattan Avenue and Lorimer Street in Greenpoint, (718) 383-5723], Dec. 3, 7 pm. Tickets are $15. For info, visit www.gothamcitybeards.com.
Reach reporter Dan MacLeod at firstname.lastname@example.org or by calling him at (718) 260-4507. You can also follow his Tweets at @dsmacleod.