It was exactly 17 years ago on New Year’s Eve that our gridiron Galileo Ida Eisenstein was in Cleveland, OH, delivering her now famous “Holy Mackerel” address before the Women’s League of Cuyahoga County.
Wearing a purple Dior blazer and her grandmother’s pearls, Eisenstein held the crowd of 1,553 in rapt attention.
Her 56 minute speech — punctuated by interruptions from her Footloose-ringtone beeper — culminated with a quote by the women’s rights pioneer Elizabeth Blackwell.
“If society will not admit of woman’s free development, then society must be remodeled,” she said to complete silence — justifiable considering her speech was about the spawning time of the Atlantic mackerel.
Three days before the anniversary of that fateful address, Ida recounted the outcome to an office chum, summoning Greek philosopher Diogenes to recap the experience, and serve as her inspiration for the week: “We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less,” she said.
We hear you, oh pigskin prognosticator. We hear you.
Ida’s picks:
Eagles (-9), Falcons (-13.5), Vikings (+1), Saints (-7.5), Texans (+2.5), Ravens (-2.5), Steelers (-4.5), Colts (+5), Patriots (-12.5), Broncos (-3), Seahawks (+3), Giants (-3).
Ida’s breakouts:
Jets (+1) over Dolphins:
“They’re going to try to win.”
Lions (-2.5) over Packers:
“Packers already clinched.”
49ers (-11) over Rams:
“They’re going for home field advantage.”
Ida’s Kryptonite Lock of the Week:
Raiders (-3) over Chargers:
“They’re trying to clinch.”
124-110-6, 10-6 on Kryptonite Lock of the Week.
