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Here they are: Your police blotters!

Hand job

A Spanish-speaking thief used only gestures to rob a woman of $80 on Sterling Place on Sept. 1.

The woman told cops that she was walking home and was near Seventh Avenue at just after midnight when a man approached and gestured to her bag and to his waist, where, presumably, he had a gun.

Though he never uttered a threat in English, his Spanish threats and his gestures convinced the woman that a robbery was afoot.

Green thumb

Even the city Parks Department is not immune from crime.

Sometime over the summer, a thief broke into a Parks office just inside Prospect Park near Fifth Street and stole six laptops and 10 digital cameras.

The items were inside a locked cabinet — and many people have the keys, cops said.

The crime was discovered on Sept. 4, but it may have occurred any time since July 22.

Total value of the haul was put at $5,500.

Bend over

A thief acted quickly when a man bent down at a check-cashing joint to retrieve something he dropped.

The man told cops that he had put his wallet on the counter of the store, which is on Flatbush Avenue between Bergen and Dean streets, at around 5:30 pm on Aug. 19. He dropped something, picked it up and didn’t notice that a thief had swiped his credit card — until the bill came a month later and revealed all sorts of charges.

In an unrelated story (except for the wallet, that is), a woman waiting for her sister at New York Methodist Hospital had her wallet stolen when her attention was briefly distracted on Sept. 3.

The 27-year-old victim told cops that she had placed her wallet on a chair at around 9:30 pm and when she returned her attention to it minutes later, it was gone. She lost a Victoria’s Secret gift card and $50.

Church louse

Someone stole a St. Johns Place church’s debit card — and rang up more than $1,400 in charges before anyone noticed.

Cops say that the card went missing on Aug. 30 — taken from a locked cabinet in the church, which is between Sixth and Seventh avenues. The crime was discovered on Sept. 2 by a church secretary (and God is her witness).

Wheels rolled

At five cars were broken into — and two stolen — in the neighborhood last week. Here’s a roundup:

• A 1995 Honda Accord that had been parked on Second Street between Seventh and Eighth avenues on Sept. 2 was gone three days later when its owner returned to it.

• A woman who double-parked her car on 12th Street between Fourth and Fifth avenues at around 10:30 am on Sept. 2 returned 20 minutes later to find that her purse had been taken, along with its contents: a fancy wallet, a cellphone and $35.

• A man who left his 2002 Saab unlocked on President Street between Seventh and Eighth avenues overnight on Sept. 3 returned the next morning to find a fancy Coach bag and a Gucci jacket missing.

• A thief broke into a car that was parked in a drugstore lot on Ninth Street between Fifth and Sixth avenues on Sept. 4. The owner parked the car at around 11:30 am and was gone for only a few minutes — enough time for the crook to take a fancy laptop.

• A company van containing thousands of dollars in equipment was broken into and then stolen sometime between Aug. 30 and Sept. 2. Cops said the $20,000 truck had been parked on Third Avenue at Sixth Street and contained $1,500 in copper pipes and two power tools.

Bunch o’ burgs

Lots of buildings were broken into last week. Here’s a roundup:

• A popular Fifth Avenue video store had a laptop stolen on Sept. 1. The clerk told cops that she had stepped out of the store, which is at St. Johns Place, for just a moment, only to return to find the computer missing. Also taken? Part of a movie script she was working on.

• A thief broke into a Seventh Avenue apartment on Sept. 2 and took a laptop, a fancy watch, a Blackberry and a Metrocard. The tenant said she was asleep from 6:30 to 11 pm, when the thief entered the building, which is between St. Johns and Lincoln places.

• A Ninth Street office was relieved of $400, two laptops, a digital camera and a safe sometime between Aug. 30 and Sept. 2. Cops don’t know how the thief got into the building, which is between Fifth and Sixth avenues.

— Gersh Kuntzman