Illuminati to hold recruitment dance party in Williamsburg

Illuminati to hold recruitment dance party in Williamsburg

An exclusive secret society needs new blood.

The Illuminati — the clandestine club that, according in-the-know individuals, controls the world through sub rosa machinations — is recruiting new members during a midnight ritual at Williamsburg bar Baby’s All Right on April 24. Members of the hush-hush fellowship said they will perform age-old rituals of dance, disc jockeying, and performance art to weed through potential recruits. And though the cloak-and-dagger group may fly under the radar, the key to getting elders’ attention is being as garish as possible, said a source inside the shadowy society.

“We want anybody who acts like they’re not totally basic,” said Stephen Franco, half of emcee duo Prima Primo and self-proclaimed high-ranking member of the Illuminati. “Just because you show up doesn’t mean you’ll end up in the Illuminati. It’s sort of like a frat pledge without the terribleness.”

Costumes and a penchant for hip-hop hand signs will also score brownie points, another society member said.

“Showing up in any type of Illuminati attire is going to be favored,” said Russ Marshalek, a member of record-spinning collective Adventures who describes himself as low in the Illuminati hierarchy. “Throwing their diamonds up — a la the Roc-A-Fella — is going to be favored,” he added, referring to hip-hop mogul and Brooklyn native Jay Z.

Recruiters will spin tunes by Jazzy and other reported Illuminati, including Madonna, Beyonce, and Kanye West. And occult dance music trio A Place Both Wonderful and Strange will close out the night with a live performance, Marshalek said.

For the uninitiated, the Illuminati traces its origins to an Enlightenment-era Bavarian social group of the same name. Its goals once included opposing “obscurantism” — keeping knowledge from other people — but the secret society now revels in the obscure, members said. Other well-known fraternal societies include the Freemasons, a group with links to 14th-century masonry guilds, and the Stonecutters, which made actor Steve Guttenberg a star — but the Illuminati controls those groups like puppets, one recruiter said.

“The Illuminati isn’t fully definable,” said Janet Castel, who is the other half of Prima Primo. “It’s a secret society that kind of controls everything — like Clear Channel but more with glitter.”

The clandestine clan took a page from the Freemason’s playbook when it decided to hold the open recruitment, Marshalek said.

“I was once walked through a soup-to-nuts Freemason night where people were welcomed, judged, and decided upon, and I thought it was awesome, because so bitchy and judgmental,” he said.

Illuminati Recruitment Ritual at Baby’s All Right (146 Broadway between Bedford and Driggs avenues in Williamsburg, babysallright.com). April 24 at 11:59 pm. $5.

Reach reporter Max Jaeger at mjaeg[email protected]glocal.com or by calling (718) 260–8303. Follow him on Twitter @JustTheMax.