I’m going bonzo over the Bongo fiasco

Really? A lost Beanie Baby. This is what we use our ink and pixels for? In a world where children are kidnapped and murdered, does Jack Zinzi and Bonnie Marcus really want us to feel sorry for their lost stuffed monkey?

Or, should I say, do we really give a banana about Bongo?

If Bongo was so important, the daffy duo should have left it home with its three siblings Do, Re and Mi, where stuffed Beanie Babies belong, and not hanging out of Zinzi’s back pocket on the way to a Park Slope restaurant where the danger of it going astray was great.

Better yet, if Zinzi really had to take it to eat, then he should have used a tot-leash. That way when it fell out his back pocket, it could just be scooped up. Oh, but wait. That would have damaged Bongo’s delicate psyche. How silly of me. After all, Beanie Babies need to be free and unfettered, to experience the outside world. Better Zinzi cry than Bongo. Yeah right.

On the other hand, we’re all supposing that Bongo accidently fell out, maybe the adventurous ape just wanted to experience the world and it really ran away from its overbearing over-stuffed owners.

Zinzi likened Bongo’s loss to “losing a child,” adding, “It’s really hearbreaking.”

Is he kidding?

Where does he come off comparing the loss of a stuffed toy to the loss of a living, breathing child? And if he really feels this way, he has some really serious issues to confront.

How can he even imagine that the loss of a stuffed toy can compare? No matter how many sentiments a treasured toy may hold, it’s still a toy, a non-living, non-giving, non functioning thing.

No matter how many times Zinzi and Marcus spoke to it, carried it, or lavished it with affection, it was still a thing, and things — yes even a treasured Beanie Baby thing — can be replaced.

To the parents that have lost a child, Zinzi’s statement is an insult. Mr. Zinzi and his partner can easily replace Bongo by going out and buying another Beanie Baby, but to parents that have lost a child, their pain is endless, their loss immeasurable and nothing can ever, ever heal their hearts or replace their loss.

Maybe Zinzi should talk to the parents of Leiby Kletzky and see how they feel about his lost monkey.

This whole thing has been one terrible waste of time and effort.

These two looney tunes need to get a grip on reality and some serious counseling.

Not for Nuthin™, but the grieving pair should save their $500 reward money and spend it at a therapist’s office to get some much-needed help.

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