Stardate: -308781.8316844241
In this episode, our heroic Captain, Sir Patrick Stewart — a resident of Park Slope who famously played Jean-Luc Picard on “Star Trek: The Next Generation” — explores the distant reaches of the Coney Quadrant and becomes trapped with first officer Ian McKellen inside a steel cage affixed to a strange, rotating contraption.
Where other galactic military leaders might have trembled in fear, Stewart let the universe know that he fancied the fantastic flight with a gleeful yelp. The enterprising captain also managed to boldly leverage the predicament into a promotion of his and McKellen’s Broadway show.
On the next episode: whatever Sir Patrick Stewart tweets about.