Just when we thought we’d seen it all from our gridiron Goldilocks Ida Eisenstein, she managed to astound us again this week!
No, she didn’t dispense with the “Footloose” ringtone on her cellphone, and she most certainly did not stop buying tins of smoked kippers from the Silver Star meat market.
What she did was even more remarkable than that.
First time in 17 weeks.
Of course, the Dutch tabloids had a field day with the news, assuming “De Koningin Profeet” — the Queen Prophet — had a mirthful mug simply because she concluded another successful regular season, where she notched a 131-118-7 record.
Nothing could be further from the truth, considering her real test will come in the upcoming weeks, on the road to fulfilling a promise she made last month to a deaf Norwegian baker: picking every postseason game correctly on the road to the Super Bowl.
Eisenstein — cagey as usual — revealed precious little about her confounding countenance, offering only this, from Russian revolutionary Leon Trotsky, her inspiration for the week: “In a serious struggle there is no worse cruelty than to be magnanimous at an inopportune time.”
Ida’s postseason picks:
Texans (-3) over Bengals:
“They’re playing better than the Bengals.”
Lions (+10.5) over Saints:
“Saints are good but I don’t think they’ll win by 10.5 points.”
Steelers (-7.5) over Broncos:
“Broncos did not look good last week.”
Ida’s Kryptonite Lock of the Week:
Giants (-3.5) over Falcons:
“Giants are going to go for it.”
131-118-7, 10-7 on Kryptonite Lock of the Week.