I don’t do heat well. In fact, to be honest, when the temperature gets above 68 degrees I become a raving lunatic. So it should come as no surprise that this past weekend when temperatures soared above 90 degrees, I was a little bit testy. Normally I would just take a dip in the pool or plant myself in front of the air-conditioner vent with the ceiling fan on high, a cold drink in one hand and the other holding a cold cloth to my head.
However, I was not able to dip myself into my pool as it remained unopened, and the air conditioner was off, due to the loan-sharking practices of Con Edison (I’m cheap), and my ceiling fan, due to the fact that I broke it while making the bed (don’t ask) only goes to medium. The cold cloth and drink were my only salvation.
Let’s start with the saga of the un-opened pool. I originally requested that our pool company open it up the day after Memorial Day. Why filter longer than I had to? So May 27th was set for grand re-opening. Well, May 27th came and went and unfortunately they were unable to come. Not being too concerned, we still had time, I made a new appointment for the following weekend. The day came, the day went, no pool people. Still calm, still cool, I called and made another appointment. Again, no pool people – no call. I was a little angry but not foaming at the mouth yet. Again I called and again I made the appointment. This time for this past weekend, you know the 90-plus temperature weekend.
Saturday dawned hot. I took my daughter to her review class, went to the bank and then came home to await the mighty pool people. I really used my waiting time effectively, too. As every minute ticked by, I paced back and forth between the street and the pool, I checked the phone a half dozen times to make sure calls were going through and I invented at least a dozen new swear phrases and plagues to be heaped upon the heads of the pool people. In between, I managed to finish my usual Saturday chore of laundry. With mounds of it in the basement waiting to be washed, it was fortunate for me that the basement is the coldest part of the house.
The time had come for me to go pick up my daughter. Her friend, who lives quite a distance away, also needed a lift, so we drove her home as well. Due to heavy traffic, it took longer to get home than anticipated.
Not for nothing, wouldn’t you know they arrived while I was in the car and enjoying the air pumping out on high. My husband called my cell with the good news.
As I pulled up in front of the house, my husband was waiting in the driveway to give me the latest updates. The pool was now opened, they had attached the hoses but not the clamps, and some of the screws for the skimmer housing were missing. I was still a little cool from the air conditioner in the car, my daughter had icicles forming on her face, so I was able to face the pool people civilly. They tried to start the filter and the first hose popped off, then they managed to put a new hose on but the clamp was no good. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any more clamps so they used duct tape. That worked but then the filter cartridge gasket was shot and water was squirting out. Finally the pressure valve on the top of the filter (like a pressure cooker pot) was worn out and every time they turned the filter on, it shot in the air just like Old Faithful in Yellowstone.
The good news it could all be fixed. The bad news? They were so late that the pool store was closed and it would have to wait till tomorrow. Tomorrow was Sunday and was expected to be just as hot. They assured me they would come early, but by noon they were a no-show and all my resolve to be cool and calm gave way. I called the owner. No longer was I understanding, no longer was I a good little customer, in fact no longer was I human. I had transformed into a raging, hot flashing monster that would have chewed off their heads if they were in front of me. However, a phone separated us and their lives were spared. They finally arrived about 3 p.m., put all the pieces together again and got the pool up and running.
So now the pool is running and of course my resolve not to run the AC has melted like yesterday’s ice cubes. The unit is happily humming, cooling off the house.
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