Resolutions. Everyone makes them. Everyone breaks them.
But the reason that so many resolutions end up like a Jennifer Lopez marriage is because people shoot too high. Lose 20 pounds? (But pork belly is on sale at Fairway!) Give more to charity? (But what about that iPod you have your eye on?) Finally finish “Moby Dick”? (But the Jets are going to be in the playoffs!).
But resolutions don’t need to be difficult. That’s why we’ve prepared this list of 10 cultural promises that you can definitely keep in the new year, easy ways to suck the marrow out of Brooklyn without feeling guilty in the morning.
1. Get off meat
You heard it from Park Sloper Jonathan Safran Foer: eating meat is destroying the planet, terrorizing animals and killing you, too. So there’s never been a better time to go veg. Foer says he rarely misses animal flesh, touting the miso eggplant and veggie sushi at Yamato in Park Slope and the veggie burger from Bonnie’s Grill nearby, but others swear by the grilled seitan sandwich at Bliss in Williamsburg or the barbecued “chicken” at Red Bamboo (soon to be renamed Poppa’s Place). Mmm, seitan.
Bonnie’s Grill [278 Fifth Ave. between Garfield Place and First Street, (718) 369-9527]; Yamato [168 Seventh Ave. between Garfield Place and First Street, (718) 840-0099]; Bliss [191 Bedford Ave. between N. Sixth and N. Seventh streets in Williamsburg, (718) 599-2547]; Poppa’s Place [271 Adelphi St. at Dekalb Avenue in Fort Greene, (718) 643-4806].
2. Get back ON meat
That said, if you’re currently a vegetarian, there’s no better time to stick to your resolution of eating animals again, what with Noah Bernamoff’s Mile End smoked meat joint about to open on Hoyt Street in Boerum Hill. The guy may be from Montreal, but he makes a pastrami that puts the Second Avenue deli to shame. And if you want to make it yourself, the borough is quickly becoming a meat-eater’s paradise, what with the opening of butcher to the stars Tom Mylan’s Meat Hook shop in Williamsburg, which has a wide array of “humanely” raised flesh.
Mile End (97A Hoyt St. between Atlantic Avenue and Pacific Street) will open in January; The Meat Hook and The Lab [100 Frost St. at Meeker Avenue in Williamsburg, (718) 349-5033].
3. Go to Freddy’s Bar
You never fully appreciate something until it’s gone — so don’t make that mistake with Freddy’s Bar and Backroom, as good a saloon as you get in Brooklyn nowadays. Slated to be torn down to make room for Bruce Ratner’s basketball arena (whatsamatta, Bruce, you don’t think people want a bar outside an arena?), this Prohibition-era speakeasy offers a classic worn bar and booths that hail from the days when Americans were small. But manager Donald O’Finn brings just enough modern touches (like an endless loop of film montages on one of the TVs, and a steady stream of great musicians coming through) so that the place doesn’t feel like a nostalgia act. Go to this bar now before it’s too late.
Freddy’s Bar [485 Dean St. at Sixth Avenue in Prospect Heights, (718) 622-7035].
4. Learn an instrument
There is no question that you would be more successful and happy right now if you had learned to play an instrument when you were a kid. So why not keep that resolution to pick up the guitar or other ungainly stringed or woodwinded contraption before it’s too late? Some of the best music classes are taught at Jalopy on Columbia Street, where all eight-week sessions are $225. A new batch of guitar, banjo, ukulele and fiddle classes will be starting up early this year.
And if you’re really serious about becoming a musician (rather than just the weird guy playing “Stairway to Heaven” near the campfire), head for the Brooklyn Conservatory of Music in Park Slope, where kids can learn via the Suzuki method, starting from age 3. There are also seminars in classical string, brass and ear training. You can even take opera courses. Other notable classes are at the Brooklyn Music School in Fort Greene.
Jalopy [315 Columbia St. between Hamilton Avenue and Woodhull Street, (718) 395-3214]; Brooklyn Conservatory of Music [58 Seventh Ave. at Berkeley Place in Park Slope, (718) 622-3300]; Brooklyn Music School [126 St. Felix St. in Fort Greene, (718) 638.5660].
5. Get cookin’
With food prices what they are, there’s no better way to get the most out of your supermarket budget by taking a cooking course. Sure, it sounds hokey, but there’s nothing wrong with picking up some pointers.
A bunch of cooking schools have come and gone over the years, but the Brooklyn Kitchen in Williamsburg has filled the vacuum with a full menu of courses that run the gamut from beginner knife skill lessons to full-on pig butchering. For those of us in the middle, there are regular one-night classes on dessert baking, bread making and cocktail shaking.
Best bet: The braising class on Jan. 20 may sound a bit pricey at $250, but it comes with a Le Creuset dutch oven, a $185 value.
The Brooklyn Kitchen [616 Lorimer St. (718) 389-2982].
6. Bump and grind
If 2009 is going to be remembered for anything, it’ll be celebrated as the year that burlesque took over the borough. What started as a hipster-aimed throwback to the days of the fan dance and the old slap-and-tickle is now a full-on nightlife movement. Most weeks, there are cheeky performances by several rival companies, including the Wasabassco Burlesque (monthly at Public Assembly; next show on Jan. 9), the Pinchbottom Burlesque (regularly at the Royale), or the aptly named Sweet and Nasty troupe (also regulars at Public Assembly). And if you want your low necklines with a highbrow gloss, head for Galapagos to catch the Floating Kabarette.
Public Assembly [70 N. Sixth St. at Wythe Avenue in Williamsburg, (718) 782-5188]; The Royale [506 Fifth Ave. at 12th Street in Park Slope, (718) 840-0089]; Galapagos Art Space [16 Main St. at Water Street in DUMBO, (718) 222-8500].
7. Get in shape
After all the binge eating and drunken revelry of the holidays, you’ll want to get back in shape. But that can be so difficult, so why not try capoeira? The Brazilian mix of martial arts and dance is an arduous workout paired with a variety of groin-busting stretches.
But it’s fun.
Even better, Brooklyn has its own capoeira academy right above the Seventh Avenue subway station on Flatbush Avenue. So don’t be surprised to hear the Brazilian songs and instruments echoing out of the windows as you approach the classroom.
Raizes do Brasil Academy (347 Flatbush Ave. at Park Place in Prospect Heights. No phone). Visit www.capoeirabrooklyn.com for info.
8. See Stephane Wrembel
A nomad of sorts, this Paris-born jazz guitarist started playing at the age of 4 so he could bring his contemporary (but energetic) jazz trio to Brooklyn. Now he plays shows almost every day in the borough, so there’s no excuse to pass up this opportunity. Wrembel’s light, brisk style is lively enough to keep everyone entertained and sophisticated enough to leave modern jazz aficionado in tears. His “Django Experiment” shows every Sunday at Barbes are your best chance to catch him (but get there early; we were shut out on Dec. 27 — during a holiday week!).
Barbes [376 Ninth St. at Sixth Avenue in Park Slope, (718) 965-9177].
9. Read Brooklyn authors
Three of our top-notch scribblers have new doorstoppers either on the shelves or soon to be this year. This is your chance to look literary and help out the home team.
• Chronic City (2009) by Jonathan Lethem
The homegrown author of “Fortress of Solitude” steps across the bridge to give us a witty, comical and disconcerting account of living as a stoner among the rich on the Upper East Side of that other city.
• Invisible (2009) by Paul Auster
A love triangle, a violent mugging and aspirations to publish a literary magazine in the 1960s throw the Park Slope author’s characters into an entertaining discussion of identity and the philosophy surrounding love and war. We all like dark humor — and Auster does it well. His fresh storytelling ability keeps the pages turning, so don’t worry about spending too much time on it.
• Sag Harbor (2009) by Colson Whitehead
Whitehead delves straight into the hearts of two African-American teenagers living in predominantly white Sag Harbor on Long Island. Two brothers spend the summer of 1985 without their parents, trying to find something to do. Whitehead’s not a teen himself anymore, but the award-winning contributor to The New Yorker takes his readers on an inventive, enjoyable trip into a classic high school summer in this sarcastic coming-of-age novel.
10. Bargain bowling
Sure, Brooklyn Bowl is cool, but don’t you get uncomfortable sitting around in those skinny jeans waiting for a $40 lane? Head to Maple Lanes out in Dyker Heights, where the lines are short, the bargains are deep and the action is real. One of the best times to go is on Sunday (now that the Giants are eliminated from the playoffs, why not bowl?) when all games are $1 after a $6 cover charge.
Maple Lanes [1570 60th St. between 15th and 16th avenues in Dyker Heights, (718) 331-9000].
