Single no more, Frank takes the leap

Break out the tissues, girls. Frank Maresca of Frank the Entertainer In A Basement Affair is presently off the singles chart after having chosen Kerri Schwartz, 24, of Brooklyn, to “go forward with” in this week’s final installment of the reality show on VH1. For all those 20-somethings out there who had flirted with the fantasy of being Mrs. Frank the Entertainer, I send you my condolences.

Frank is a 30-something guy who wants to get out of his parent’s basement. His way to the first floor exit is having a reality show about the trials and tribulations of a hip playa’ kind of guy who wants to find the lady of his dreams. Big yawn.

He has imposed on his family 15 femme fatales to live in the upstairs part of his parent’s Brooklyn home. Through the course of the series he sets up little tableaus to get to know each of the ladies better, and most are held in his basement. They have taken road trips to a ballfield (excuse for a wet T-shirt display), a boat, (Frank was king of the world), to the city and a carriage ride, all the while narrowing down his selection. It’s American Idol meets the Dating Game.

Through an exhaustive 12 shows and a mostly boring process of elimination, Frank, with his mother and father’s help, (parents — in your 30’s — really), whittles his way down to the final two, Kerri, who eventually won and Cathy who was really not a happy loser.

I admit I only caught a few of the shows. I tried, I really did, but I just couldn’t make it through an entire episode. I usually woke up about the time the credits rolled, needing a paper towel to wipe the drool off my chin. Not to be dismayed, however, I do have a 16-year-old daughter and 23-year-old niece who both inform me that not only is Frank hot, but the show is really entertaining, hence the title Frank the Entertainer.

Not for Nuthin’™, but being a 50-something mother who really misses The Gong Show and having a really low tolerance for cheesy reality shows, I truly hope that Frank and Kerri have a long and happy TV — err — life together.

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