Sober Saint Patrick’s Day: Where to celebrate without the hangover

Sober Saint Patrick’s Day: Where to celebrate without the hangover
Photo by Elizabeth Graham

Most people associate Saint Patrick’s Day with getting wasted. But it doesn’t have to be that way!

There are plenty of Brooklyn events on and around the big day for people who don’t want to spend the week throwing-up green beer — not least of all the borough’s two big parades. Here is a guide our celebrating sober.

Parade 1.0

The first of Brooklyn’s two parades will be in Park Slope the weekend before Saint Patrick’s Day, kicking off at 12:45 pm with the annual re-dedication ceremony to the heroes and victims of 9-11, before the march steps off in a loop around Seventh Avenue and Prospect Park West between 15th Street and Garfield Place

(Prospect Park West at 15th Street in Park Slope, www.brooklynstpatricksparade.com). March 15 at 1 pm. Free.

Beginners’ luck

If you’re looking for a healthier way to celebrate with your kids than buying them a Shamrock Shake, the Brooklyn Children’s Museum is hosting classes on Irish traditions for little ones aged 2.5–5. The youngsters will also make a rainbow mobile to take home.

Brooklyn Children’s Museum [145 Brooklyn Ave. between Saint Marks Avenue and Prospect Place in Crown Heights, (718) 735–4400, www.brooklynkids.org]. March 14–15 at 2:30 pm and March 17 at 11:30 am and 2:30 pm. Free with museum admission.

Where’s me gold?

Williamsburg’s Nitehawk Cinema will celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day by screening the first “Leprechaun” movie, featuring that guy from “Willow” as the least terrifying horror movie bad guy of all time and the immortal line “F— you, Lucky Charms.”

Nitehawk Cinema [136 Metropolitan Ave. between Wythe Avenue and Berry Street in Williamsburg, (718) 384–3980, www.nitehawkcinema.com]. March 17 at 9:30 pm. $15.

Green and red

This is a different kind of Irish dancing. Wasabassco Burlesque will perform its fifth Saint Patrick’s Day for Sinners show at the Bell House, featuring only red-headed performers getting their kit off to music.

The Bell House [149 Seventh St. between Second and Third avenues, (718) 643–6510, www.thebellhouseny.com]. March 17 at 8 pm. $20–$50, free for red-heads.

Step up

Kick up your heels and watch other people kick up theirs when dancers from the Niall O’Leary School of Irish Dance give a family-friendly performance at the Central Library. The troupe will perform traditional and contemporary moves to live music.

Central Library [10 Grand Army Plaza between Eastern Parkway and Flatbush Avenue in Prospect Heights, (718) 230–2100, www.bklynpubliclibrary.org]. March 21 at 1 pm. Free.

Parade 2.0

The borough’s second parade takes place in Bay Ridge the weekend after Saint Patrick’s Day. This one is a straight line down Third Avenue from Marine Avenue to 67th Street.

(Third Avenue at Marine Avenue in Bay Ridge, www.bayridgestpatricksday.com). March 22 at 1 pm. Free.