Dooley has no ‘Butts’ about this book

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“Eyes and ears are much respected, but the butt has been neglected.”

So says opening line of Artie Bennett’s astounding tour de force, “The Butt Book” — and, dare I say it, no truer words have been spoken in the children’s book world since a younger Mo Willems issued his cautionary warning against allowing a pigeon to drive a bus.

Bennett’s new work is a singular tribute to every parent’s least-favorite body part, the behind. No doubt, there are parents who will worry that Bennett’s endless repetition of the word “butt” in all its myriad forms — tuchas, fanny, bottom, heinie, rear — will encourage the youngsters to scream out “butt cheeks!” at inappropriate moments. But that fear is just poppycock!

Indeed, didn’t the ramblings of the wayward youth Bart Simpson once send the Puritans of public morals running to set up a bonfire into which to toss the “Eat my shorts”-spouting lad?

In actuality, “The Butt Book” will actually help remove the word’s lingering shock value. For starters, Bennett plays it all for laughs, suggesting that we, not our keisters, are the ones with the butt problem because we are the ones who have “neglected” the butt.

Instead of celebrating the butt, we hide it, condemning it to a life of shame. But there is no shame in Bennett’s mind.

“Butts can come in every size,” he writes. “Some will droop and others rise.”

And by putting the butt in its proper context in the animal kingdom, Bennett reminds us all that having a butt is as natural as, well, using it.

“Elephants have mighty ones, while hippos have untidy ones,” he writes. “Butts are vital body parts, important as our heads or hearts.”

There’s just no avoiding it: We all have one.

“Best in show or just plain mutt,” reads the page featuring a circle of canine behinds, “every doggy has a butt.”

Coupled with Mike Lester’s fun drawings, Bennett’s repetition of the various uses, shapes, tasks and accomplishments of the butt never get dull for the kids (of course not; Mommy or Daddy keeps saying, “Butt” whenever reading the book).

And as Bennett points out, we need to honor the butt — or else.

“Don’t undercut your butt, my friend,” he writes. “Your butt will thank you in … the end.”

Updated 5:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

The Nanny from Undisclosed says:
Interesting line: "Bennett’s new work is a singular tribute to every parent’s least-favorite body part"
Some parents are very into the ass. Why would this be every parent's least favorite?
Really - what does that even mean? I've never heard anyone imply that it was their least favorite body part.
The book looks really cheesey too btw.
March 10, 2010, 3:10 am
Gersh from Park Slope says:
I think Dooley just meant that parents get uncomfortable around the butt because kids are so into it.

March 10, 2010, 6:58 am
joey from clinton hills says:
this parent's least favorite body part is the nose - I'm sick of wiping them. Please tell me, what age does a kid learn to blow their nose instead of sniffling? Anyhoo, wiping the ass is not so bad. Also, if you park on my block with out-of-state plates, I'm putting a dirty diaper under your windshield wiper!
March 10, 2010, 5:51 pm
Caitlynn from Brooklyn Heights says:
As a working mother i find that my least favorite body part would have to be my husband's penis. No books available on that yet?
March 12, 2010, 11:39 am
Ysl shoes from Jimmy Choo Sale says:
Shoes are so funny, styles go in and out of all the time. Mostly, not in any major way, but in the small details, a curve of a heel, the subtle shape of the toe, how much toe does it show… I had a pair of YSL stilettos for the longest time, but sold them because they didn’t show enough toe cleavage, and I thought they were too matronly. D’oh! And I sold a pair of second season Miu Miu loafers because square toes were out.
March 13, 2010, 3:28 am

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