Carmine: Al Gore lied about global warming, and I’m freezing!

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I’m madder than the Heat Miser from those old Santa Claus movies when his barber sued him for burning his hands over the fact that this winter has been the worst on record since I started keeping them shortly after my sainted mother brought me into this world kicking and screaming — which is how I intend to go out!

Look, you all know the ol’ Screecher has been a big fan of global warming since I heard I could spend my weekends spraying my “Aqua-Net” into the atmosphere to raise the temperature in February enough degrees to keep me warm only to later learn that all I was doing was making the air smell great.

So it should come as no surprise to you that each summer when it’s too hot and I consider taking this here global warming seriously, the winter comes and I’m stuck freezing on the street while once again waiting for the Access-A-Ride to pick me up when it was supposed to instead of an hour and a half after that!

And then, when it finally comes, I get stuck inside freezing and starving because the knucklehead driver decides to take me on a four-hour tour of Staten Island from end to end instead of getting me home in time for dinner with my lovely wife Sharon!

It is no wonder I consider this the worst winter ever.

Of course, I blame Vice President Al Gore for all of this for promising years ago that the earth was in fact getting warmer — and then not delivering on that promise! Is Bensonhurst not part of this “globe?”

And here I am shivering as I type because of it, and because of the fact that Old Man Winter has done a number on the boiler at the great Harway Terrace, and the heat for me an 2,000 others ain’t coming up!

Speaking of worst things ever, remember that time me and a few of my Brooklyn pals headed down to Washington to listen to then-Vice-President Gore speak about something I couldn’t hear because my stomach was rumbling so much because the cheapskate didn’t buy us breakfast! We didn’t even get a lousy cup of coffee after 200 constituents drove 200 miles to hear him speak. Don’t believe me? Just ask Jack Spatola. He’ll tell you. It’s all true!

And you know when you can tell a politician is lying? When he is moving his lips! Or her lips if that be the case.

Thankfully, during these cold times, there is one sure-fire way to keep you blood pumping — my free ballroom dance lessons! And even though my lessons were canceled by Presidentail Decree during President’s Week when schools are rightfully closed, no bad weather can stop my dance students from braving the elements in order to learn to cha cha cha! My freezing dozen took a cue from the Post Office motto, and neither rain nor snow nor dead of winter stays these dirty dancers from learning their appointed rounds! It’s too bad Access-A-Ride can’t be as devoted to its riders!

Sorry I digressed so much taking you for a tour of the world, almost forgot about the 2,000 people freezing during this worst winter ever. If you recall the freezing bitter cold, you knew that whatever city services were functioning weren’t readily available. I learned from the Zenith in the living room that the citywide and Northeast-wide blizzards made each meteorologists working inside the studio the happiest campers you ever wanted to see. Meanwhile, their counterparts outside had to be pitied — no matter how much money they accrued. The question is ,was the frostbite worth it?

That brings us to the last, most exciting part of the column when I once again announce for the first time BWECC!’s 54th Annual Award’s dinner, which some these days are calling the 2015 Carmine Awards (eat your heart out, Oscar!).

Those of you wishing to join us at the gala will see some of my dance students them tripping the light fantastic — another reason to go!

SO if you want ot come, e-mail for info and reservations.

And as Katherine Murray used to say during the 1950s, if you want to have a little fun in your life try dancing. The lessons are free all I require is that you can count to eight.

You can do that, right?

Screech at you next week!

Read Carmine's screech every Sunday on E-mail him at
Updated 10:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Or from Yellow Hook says:
"It is now pretty clearly agreed that the C02 content will rise 25% by 2000. This could increase the average temperature near the earth' s surface by 7 degrees Fahrenheit. This in turn could raise the level of the sea by 10 feet. Goodbye New York.
Goodbye Washington, for that matter. We have no data on Seattle."

Memo from Daniel P. Moynihan

September 17, 1969
Feb. 22, 2015, 10:38 am
Maria says:
I think that the climate is changing because climate is part of cyclic process. Remember that Earth had many periods of warmth and cold. Of course, humans have an impact on climate (pollution, deforestation, wars and so on) we cannot say that climate change is 100 % connected to human activity. The weather nowadays is the result of many climate change phases that has gone through in the past 150 years. You can check to see what I mean.
Feb. 22, 2015, 1:53 pm
Rob from Greenpoint says:
... and out come the trolls!
Feb. 22, 2015, 8:57 pm
ty from pps says:
Yes, a memo from 1969. There's certainly been no additional research or advance in science in the last 46 years.

That said, Mr. Moynihan's memo -- if you actually read it -- is quite reasonable and the fact that we haven't made more progress as a society in a half century is pretty sad.
Feb. 23, 2015, 10:30 am
Marge from Bay Ridge says:
I know this is somehow supposed to be "funny", right? All I'm seeing in it is an old coot spouting right wing crapola and trying to dress it up in "humor" so it's a little acceptable.

Fell-down-and-can't-get-up FAIL!
Feb. 23, 2015, 11:52 am
John Wasserman from Prospect Heights says:
On what day did GOD creat this column, and couldn't have he rested on that day as well?
Pardon the interruption.
Feb. 23, 2015, 12:30 pm
Jonathan from Vancouver, Canada says:
To preface this -- if this is some sort of joke article I apologize.
This is probably the worst article I've have had the misfortune of reading. Not only is it littered in grammatical errors, it is also egregiously dull; I can't believe I managed to finish it. Not to mention it is wildly inaccurate. I almost don't want to believe that someone could be so incompetent, and not understand the simple concept of global warming. Just because it has the word "warming" in it does not mean that temperatures will rise.
Feb. 23, 2015, 12:44 pm
John Wasserman from Prospect Heights says:
Hi Jonathan from Vancouver, Canada (if that, in fact, IS your real name).
John Wasserman.
Clearly, you are out of your element on this message board.
I hope you are enjoying the weather.
John Wasserman/Patriot.
Feb. 23, 2015, 1:05 pm
Rufus Leaking from BH says:
Why didn't Moynihan keep his promise?
Feb. 23, 2015, 1:58 pm
ty from pps says:
What "promise" Rufus? The memo was to Nixon's advisor, John Ehrlichman... pushing the administration to act more aggressively. Can you read?
Feb. 23, 2015, 3:08 pm
ty from pps says:
By the way, Nixon establishing the EPA in 1970 seems like a pretty direct step....
Feb. 23, 2015, 3:09 pm
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
For those that don't know about global warming, it causes extremes in both ends. It isn't just about making temperatures higher, but also lower in other places. If anyone actually saw the documentary An Inconvenient Truth, Gore showed on part of the world having droughts with another right next to it having floods, which shows what it can actually cause. If the snowstorms are occurring this frequent, which doesn't seem very common these days, it's got to be global warming. Let's not forget the two major hurricanes of both Irene and Sandy, and the claim was that global warming made them very possible as if there was no other way to explain anything about them.
Feb. 23, 2015, 4:03 pm
Rufus Leaking from BH says:
Ol' Paddy promised us disaster if we did nothing.

We did nothing, and there was no 25% rise in CO2.

There has been a rise in CO2 from .036% to .039% - don't for get that decimal point!

Just looked out the window and there is no 10 foot rise in the water - and here it is high tide!
Feb. 23, 2015, 4:09 pm
ty from pps says:
Rufus -- 0.36% --> 0.39% is a 8.3% increase. There are not many things in the world where an 8.3% increase isn't significant.
Feb. 23, 2015, 4:32 pm
Rufus Leaking from BH says:
You moved the decimal point. The strawman is yours to take home!
Feb. 23, 2015, 5:11 pm
K. from ArKady says:
Rufus: 8.3% is less than 25%, but not bad on a 40 year old prediction. Can you do division or understand fractions? Or have we reached a point where even these simple operations are beyond the ken of ordinary citizens?

Also, was NYC lying to the rest of the country when it demanded so much FEMA aid for the Sandy flooding? There is no global warming, so give us our money back!
Feb. 24, 2015, 12:19 pm
ty from pps says:
Seriously, Rufus.

Sorry, I made a typo. But guess what, Mr. Math Genius...

(0.39 - 0.36) / 0.36 = 8.3%

(0.039 - 0.036) / 0.036 = 8.3%

Lord have mercy.
Feb. 24, 2015, 2:36 pm
Rufus Leaking from BH says:
Now realize that .039 is of less than 1%

78% of your atmosphere is Nitrogen.

20.95% is Oxygen. = 98.95%

The remainder is CO2 and OTHER gasses.

Thanks for playing!
Feb. 24, 2015, 2:55 pm
ty from pps says:
WHAT?! Rufus?! You consider that an intelligent and rational response?!

Atmospheric Carbon Dioxide is about 390 part per million.

Chlorine gas at 50 part per million can kill you. Oh right, you prefer percentages. 0.005% -- don't forget the zeros and decimal places, Rufus.

You don't seem to understand much about the world around you. Basic earth science, simple mathematics, biology, physics. And you seem to enjoy your ignorance. It's sort of sad.
Feb. 24, 2015, 4:19 pm
ty from pps says:
Also, Rufus, if you wanted to learn something... Carbon Dioxide is often used as a shorthand to describe the levels of a whole host of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere (Carbon Dioxide, Methane, Nitrous Oxide, Tropospheric Ozone, perfluorocarbons, and Sulfur Hexaflouride).

Methane, for examples, has 29 times the greenhouse effect that carbon dioxide has.

But, concentration of methane in the atmosphere is small... so according to you, Rufus, it doesn't exist.

Seawater is only 3.5% salt. That seems really small. I guess you should start drinking seawater, Rufus. Should be fine.
Feb. 24, 2015, 4:31 pm
Rufus Leaking from BH says:
Chlorine? BOOOOM! Down goes the strawman! This carbon based life form thanks you! Now stop exhaling CO2 or the sky is going to fall! Just like it did in the year 2000.
Feb. 25, 2015, 6:18 am
ty from pps says:
WHAT? Are you this stupid? And you really should learn what a "straw man argument" is. It doesn't simply mean information that you are too willfully ignorant to comprehend.
Feb. 25, 2015, 10:21 am

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