This was a real potty crime • Brooklyn Paper

This was a real potty crime

84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

No dyes

A masked perp robbed the Sovereign Bank on Montague Street on Feb. 24 after passing a threatening note to the teller.

The mustachioed man, who concealed his identity under a ski cap, entered the bank, which is between Court and Clinton streets, at around 10:45 am and passed the teller a note reading, “No dye packs; no one has to get hurt.”

Given the threat, the teller passed the perp $3,500, and called the cops after he fled.

Pack snatch

A would-be photographer stole a backpack stuffed with fancy electronics in front of the DUMBO Starbucks on Feb. 27.

The victim told cops that he was enjoying a cup of coffee at the chain java joint on Front and Main streets at around 12:50 pm when a thug stole his black backpack, getting a wireless transmitter, a flash and battery packs valued at $4,750.


Two men snatched a woman’s Blackberry on Feb. 24 on State Street.

The women told cops that she was near Bond Street at 7:30 pm when two boys approached, snatched the smartphone from her hand and fled toward Jay Street.

Muscle heist

A thug stole a wallet from the locker room of a fancy Joralemon Street gym on Feb. 26.

The victim told cops that he left his wallet in an unlocked locker in the Equinox gym between Court and Clinton streets at around 7 pm.

When the athlete returned from his workout 10 minutes later (some athlete!), the wallet was gone — along with his credit cards, drivers license, insurance cards and $100.

Wheel bad

A perp smashed a window and stole stuff from a Honda on Plymouth Street on Feb 20.

The victim told cops that he parked his 2008 sedan between Jay and Bridge streets at around 5 pm and returned a half hour later to find his window broken and nearly $4,000 in computer accessories and designer clothing gone.

— Laura Gottesdiener

76th precinct

Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Savage attack

A woman was robbed and beaten at knifepoint outside of the troubled NY Perks bar on Smith Street on Feb. 26.

The 40-year-old victim told cops she had left the bar, which is near Warren Street, at midnight and was suddenly attacked near Butler Street outside of Angry Wades, another bar, by two men who approached her from behind, put a knife to her neck, and threw her to the pavement.

The violent duo made off with a Louis Vuitton handbag containing 13 credit cards, $70, two gift cards and a cellphone.

Smooth criminal

A dry-skinned dope stole 10 bottles of Oil of Olay moisturizer from a Smith Street drug store on Feb. 19.

Cops said that when the man was confronted by Rite Aid security at around 10:30 pm, he threatened the person with a knife and warned, “Stay away.” The crook then fled the store, which is near President Street, making off with his lotions, valued at $83.

Dental damn

Two men stole more than $1,000 worth of dental hygiene products from a Court Street drug store on Feb. 20.

A 39-year-old store worker told cops that the two men made off with $1,536 worth of oral health merchandise at around 10:50 am, plus an MP3 player.

The pair then fled the store, located near Dean Street.

Sky fright

Someone burglarized a Butler Street home between Feb. 20 and Feb. 23.

The 64-year-old victim said he left his house, located near Court Street, at around 9 am on Feb. 20, and when he returned three days later, he discovered that $200 and an iPhone were gone.

Cops said the cat burglar came in, and left, through a skylight.

Camera snapped

Someone stole a high-end camera from a car on Henry Street on Feb. 26.

The 41-year-old victim said she left her 2003 silver Toyota near Fourth Place at around 6:30 am and when she returned at 11:30 am, the driver’s-side window was damaged, and a $1,500 Leica camera and $250 gym bag were gone.

— Gary Buiso

78th Precinct

Park Slope

Domestic bandit

A ballsy jerk snatched some kitchenware from a construction site on Butler Street on Feb. 25.

The 28-year-old victim told cops he was inside an apartment, which was under construction near Fourth Avenue, at around 7:30 pm when someone pushed open the front door. The thief scampered in, grabbed a microwave oven and ran back out.

— Natalie O’Neill

Beaten, busted

A violent scoundrel snatched a woman’s purse, then beat her up on Sixth Street, before being arrested on Feb. 22.

The 44-year-old lady told cops that she was walking to work, near Eighth Avenue, at around 11:15 pm, when she felt someone grab her from behind. The jerk snatched her purple handbag, then punched her in the face repeatedly and ran away, leaving her with cuts and swelling.

Cops then spotted the 34-year-old thief minutes later and arrested him near Fourth Street.

Lost game

A thief stole a fancy videogame player from a man on 14th Street on Feb. 23.

The 41-year-old victim told cops that he left his apartment, near Fifth Avenue, at 2:20 pm, then came back three hours later to find his door open and his $600 laptop and new Sony PlayStation gone.

Pimpled thug

Three creeps stole a man’s cash then threated him on Sterling Place early on Feb. 26.

The 30-year-old victim told cops that he was near Sixth Avenue at 1:35 am when three men ran up to him.

“How much money you got?” one of them shouted. “Pull it out or you’ll get shot!”

The poor guy handed over $5 to the poetic perp while two of the thugs patted down the victim, snatched his cellphone.

No improvement

A crook jacked a bag and credit cards inside the Lowe’s hardware superstore on Second Avenue on Feb. 23.

The victim told cops she left the store, which is on Ninth Street between Second Avenue and the Gowanus Canal, at around 6:40 pm and came back 20 minutes later. That’s when she discovered that someone had shattered the building’s front window and stolen a $150 black leather bag full of credit cards.

Cameras in the parking lot show a man jumping into a silver, four-door Hyundai and driving away.

Cold north

A quick-moving crook stole a laptop from a Southern lady at a coffee shop on Union Street on Feb. 26.

The 30-year-old Teenssee lass told cops that she was at the Tea Lounge, near Seventh Avenue, at around 8 pm. She left her bag near some couches and walked outside for 10 minutes, then discovered her laptop, Blackberry cellphone and wallet gone.

Surveillance cameras were no help; they only show the front of the building.

Toyota swipe

A crook jacked a car from a senior citizen on 11th Street on Feb. 24.

The 68-year-old victim told cops that he parked the car, near Eighth Avenue, at 11 am, then went to do some shopping. He came back and hour and a half later and discovered that his 2001 Toyota Camry was gone — with no evidence of a break-in.

Bad patient

A slimeball stole some money from a hospital worker on Sixth Street last week.

The victim told cops that she was conducting a study on asthma on Feb. 16 at New York Methodist Hospital, near Eighth Avenue. She wrote a participating patient a check but the jerk then used the routing number to make fake checks — and to steal about $6,000 over the course of the next seven days.

Van plan

A crafty thief swiped a van on Sterling Place between Feb. 21 and Feb. 23.

The 50-year-old victim told cops that he parked and locked the white van near Sixth Avenue at 2:30 pm on Feb. 21. He returned two days later and discovered it gone.

— Natalie O’Neill

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