“Sea-Lo,” the rare gray-hooded gull that landed in Coney Island last month, has been missing for nearly a week. Ornithologists have developed several working theories about the gull’s whereabouts, but we have our own:
• It’s stuck on the Soarin’ Eagle.
• The bird is actually an integral part of the federal investigation of state Sen. Carl Kruger, so he’s been put in the witness protection program.
• Took the role of Konstantin Gavrilovich Treplyov opposite Maggie Gyllenhaal at the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Checkov retrospective this fall.
• He got priced out of Surf Avenue and moved to Bensonhurst.
• Joey Chestnut ate him.
• Appearing nightly in between innings at MCU Park.
• It is actually a common herring gull and this whole thing is a hoax.
— Aaron Short