Why watch ‘A Christmas Story’ on TV when you can watch it in a movie theater!

Why watch ‘A Christmas Story’ on TV when you can watch it in a movie theater!
Photo by Amy Sancetta

There’s nothing stopping you from watching “A Christmas Story” for 24 straight hours on your living-room TV — that is, if you’re trying to burn your eyes out.

Fortunately, Williamsburg’s Nitehawk Cinema has revived the masterful tale of holiday yearning, adolescent bewilderment, and 1950s strangeness — complete with an “indescribably beautiful” leg lamp — to its former big-screen splendor for two glorious days.

Since the film’s 1983 premier, the futility of child-protagonist Ralphie’s quixotic mission to become the recipient of the ultimate yuletide gift, the Red Ryder BB gun, has endeared him to cross-generational audiences united in the understanding of one simple axiom: childhood is frustrating.

In the movie, the forces of adulthood are lined up against little Ralphie — his teacher, the obnoxious neighbors, and even Santa Claus seem to be out to get him, while crummy commercial interests of Ovaltine destroy his faith in the Lone Ranger. Even his parents, who are too busy quibbling over an erotic lamp, fail to acknowledge his Christmas crisis.

But all’s well that ends well, as the chaos and anxiety of the holiday season coalesces into that perfect Christmas moment, when dearest dad comes through with a secret gift, hidden behind his favorite chair, after all the other presents have been exhausted.

Gleefully, Ralphie unwraps the lever-action, spring-piston air rifle, only to — spoiler alert! — shoot his eye out.

“A Christmas Story” at Nitehawk Cinema [136 Metropolitan Ave. between Wythe Avenue and Berry Street in Williamsburg, (718) 384–3980, www.nitehawkcinema.com]. Dec. 22 and Dec. 23 at 12 pm. $11, $9 for children and seniors.

Reach reporter Colin MIxson at [email protected] or by calling (718) 260-4514.