A long-awaited box arrived last week via UPS, medium-sized and heavy. I knew what it was immediately by the return address: Ten advance copies of my first book, “Nothing: Something to Believe In.”
I sat down and looked at the object in my hands, felt the pages, perused the back cover, examined the author photo (yep, that tiny postage stamp-sized image is me!), but only then did it really hit me: What had I done?
Not only was this a book, it was a book about me! The decision to write a memoir suddenly came into question. This was worse than buyer’s remorse. This was writer’s remorse.
I had no problem telling my story about my struggle with religion — but I’d gone and included plenty of other people, from my family to my friends to even my in-laws.
It was one thing when those same friends and family read about themselves when the book was just a pile of papers, but now I was exposing them to anyone who buys my book ($17 in hardcover; available wherever books are sold; bulk discounts are available; makes a great gift).
I had long imagined what it would be like to see the book in actual book form for the first time, to hold it in my hands, turn it over and flip through pages and pages of my own words, words about myself. Even if not all the words make me look good.
Yes, I lied to my teacher about an alleged stomachache so I could get sent home. Yes, I once got so drunk that I threw up all night in my freshman dorm room. And, yes, I’m still a bit neurotic over not believing in God.
That’s my story to tell. But did I really have to go and drag in my in-laws, with whom I have had a five-year “Come to Jesus” struggle? Did I have to include my husband’s sister (and those juicy details about her wedding night!)?
Wouldn’t it have been easier to just sit on a park bench with no clothes on? Nica naked.
When I wrote, rewrote, edited and re-edited the book, I never thought about it actually being out there, all on its own, without me to explain it and present it. But now it is (and, as I mentioned, available for purchase!), so the time has come for me to be ready for it to be separate from me.
Like a child growing up and becoming her own person, the book must stand on its own as well. People will read it and will take what they want from it. They will like it or hate it, identify with the story or think that I am odd. In any case, they will know me, and they will understand what it is like to live without religion.
But, alas, they’ll also know what a wacky, f—d up family I have!
The Kitchen Sink
It is almost spring, when a Park Slope block’s fancy turns to …
the Brooklyn Botanic Garden annual Greenest Block in Brooklyn contest, of course! To learn the secrets of winning this cut-throat contest, head for the BBG’s master class featuring past winners sharing secrets and giving advice. It’s at the Garden on March 21 at 5 pm. Call (718) 623-7220 to reserve your free space. …
We love Colson Patisserie on Ninth Street, especially for the Danesi Italian coffee they serve and those great baguettes, but what’s with those chocolate chip cookies? Too crispy! …
PS 107’s “art day” was a big hit with workshops on making ancient Egyptian ornaments, collages and, in true Brooklyn fashion, paper bag brownstones. …
OK, we’re intrigued. As we went to press, we received an email from Well Lounge, a new bar that told us it was “opening its doors for the first time to the social public of New York” on March 15. We’re social. And we’re public, and we live in New York, but we have no idea what they mean. But given that drinks were free at the opening night soiree, we promise to have a full, burp, report next week. …
Pass the mustard! Just in time for summer, Willies Dawgs, on Fifth Avenue between Fourth and Fifth Streets, is serving up a variety of hot dogs on house-made buns. No need to wait for the ballpark when you have this little spot to satisfy the dog craving that hits as spring training gets into high gear. They also sell fries, knishes and desserts. …
It’s National Nutrition Month (who knew?), so New York Methodist Hospital will host, “100 Percent Fad Free Health,” a free information fair on March 22 at 9:30 am. Hospital dieticians will be on hand to suggest that you get off the couch and put down that pastrami sandwich. For information, call (718) 780-3344.
