Super hobo
An apparently cash-strapped jerk really, really wanted a dollar on March 24, so he did what anyone would do — he broke into a Hewes Street apartment at 4 am and asked for one.
A startled woman told police that she woke up in her home, which is between Harrison Avenue and Broadway, to find a tall man standing over her bed.
“Can I have a dollar?” he asked.
When she said no, he nodded and left. Later, the woman found that her back door had been smashed in, but nothing was taken.
Air head
A blowhard grocery store customer was arrested after tooting an air horn at an employee and slashing her with a knife on March 27.
The 17-year-old victim told police that the man came into the Graham Avenue C-Town Supermarket — which is at Metropolitan Avenue — at about 3 pm and started blowing an air horn in her face repeatedly.
Naturally, the cashier got annoyed and told the 63-year-old man to leave, but he hit her with a stick instead. An argument ensued, and the man eventually pulled out a knife and slashed the girl in the abdomen.
She still managed to call cops, who collared the jerk.
Sleepin’ jack
A rude chump stole a gold chain right off of a man who had been sleeping in his car on Leonard Street on March 28.
The victim was having a snooze at about 6 pm in his car, which was between Grand and Maujer streets, when the thug leaped in and said, “Give me the chain.”
He also punched the napper in the face repeatedly, allowing him to snatch the chain before he ran away.
Bow to face
Three villains jumped a man on Broadway and stole his laptop on March 28.
The man told police that he was near Lorimer Street at about 8:45 pm when the three approached, all wearing hoods.
One elbowed him in the face while another stole his laptop.
Don’t Taze me!
One jerk shocked a man with a stun gun while another stole his jewelry on Throop Avenue on March 25.
The victim was walking home near Gerry Street at about 10:43 pm when the two approached him. One deployed a small, electric Taser-like device and debilitated him while the other flashed a gun and stole his $900 white gold chain and a ring.
The two fled down Throop Avenue.
Cash strapped
A gun-wielding crook held up a passerby on Moore Street and stole her cash on March 25.
The woman was between Manhattan Avenue and Leonard Street at 11 pm when the perp held a gun to her face and said, “Don’t move a f—king bit.” He took $400 from her purse and took off.
— Andy Campbell
