Joanna breaks down her TV week • Brooklyn Paper

Joanna breaks down her TV week

Let’s see: Water? Check. Mystery? Check. Deepest, darkest Amazon river? Check. Lost TV personality? Check.

Sound familiar? Well, it’s ABC’s latest attempt to fill the void left in the wake of “Lost,” (and cash in in the process), and it’s called “The River.”

Me being me, and with a little downtime on a couple of Tuesday nights, I decided to give it a go, being that I love a good whodunit. So I gave it a twice over, but the second time after the first go-round didn’t get any better, and I gave up.

The mystery off-screen supernatural monster that tackled the cameraman was just over-the-top campy. I could only laugh as the poor cameraman was twirled around by what appeared to be his feet, only to land dead-as-a-doorknob on the deck of the ship — very Mr. Eko and the Smoke Monster. Drop on the deck and flop like a fish anyone?

The question is, can ABC come up with anything better than rehashing old series and really inane reality shows like “The Bachelorette,” “The Bachelor” and “Shark Tank” to name a few?

Personally, the best thing on ABC is “WipeOut,” and only because the contestants are so darn silly. I chuckle away every time one takes on the “big balls” and falls, err, bounces flat into the water. My second fave on the network is “Jeopardy,”which is in a class by itself.

Strangely enough, CBS, which I only watched when “Ghost Whisperer” was on (I still don’t know why I liked the show, but I did), and of course “Two and Half Men” (before tiger blood and the Charlie Sheen meltdown), has come up with a pretty good line up — “The Big Bang Theory,” (a “Friends” for geeks on Thursday nights), “The Gifted Man,” (sort of like “Ghost Whisperer,” but not really, on Fridays), followed by “Blue Bloods” with Tom Selleck (but I’ve been a Tom fan since his days on “Magnum,”) and “Unforgettable,” (a detective with a great memory on Tuesday evenings).

I can’t say ABC is totally off, there is “Grey’s Anatomy,” but I think that it has already jumped the shark and is on life-support, and no-one wants to pull the plug; “Desperate Housewives,” which is dunzo at the end of this season, and only living out its last scandal (gasp); and finally “Revenge,” which is a revamped “Dynasty” with the same old nastiness — and great clothes!

Some will argue that “Dancing With the Stars” is a great show, but it always reminds me of “Americas’ Funniest Home Videos,” probably because of Tom Bergeron, so I’m always waiting for the shoe to drop.

Not for Nuthin, but I’m very grateful to CBS, as I now have something to enjoy on Friday nights, especially since “Eureka” and “Warehouse 13” were moved to Mondays. I didn’t like it, but I adjusted, now if only Syfy had not canceled “Eureka,” I’ll be set.

Columnist Joanna DelBuono writes about national affairs every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at jdelbuono@cnglocal.com.

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