Nothing says I love you like the smell of sewage in the morning.
The Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant will offer a romantic early morning tour of its Greenpoint sludge-processing facility on Feb. 14, perhaps the strangest way to show your date you care — or subtly indicate that things aren’t working out.
Put on some comfortable boots, snuggle up with your companion, and hold your breath when the plant’s ruggedly handsome superintendent, Jimmy Pynn, explains how the city cleans 1.3 billion gallons of wastewater each day.
You’ll get to see every aspect of the plant’s waste treating process, and even take a trip through its suggestively shaped digester tanks, where plucky microorganisms break down what you and your date ate for lunch yesterday, producing methane and carbon dioxide gas.
And at the end of the tour, Pynn will give each attendee a Hershey’s Kiss — because there’s nothing sweeter than protecting the environment.
But no visit to the plant is complete without picking up some free sewage swag at its Greenpoint Avenue Visitor’s Center.
Or you can do one better and order your Valentine’s Day card in advance, which reads “Greenpoint — where love is in the air!” via neighborhood blogger Miss Heather’s website for only $3.99!
Just take your date to a nice dinner later, to hedge your bets.
Guided Tour of the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant [329 Greenpoint Ave. at Humboldt Street in Greenpoint, (718)595-6600] Feb. 14, 9:30-11:30 am. For reservations, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Reach reporter Aaron Short at email@example.com or by calling (718) 260-2547.